Today I am struggling, not so much with my own sobriety, but with my friends relapse with alcohol. I know it’s a very personal journey and sometimes relapse is a part of that, but for myself and my own journey setting boundaries is difficult without it feeling mean or like abandonment. I want to be there as a support for my friend, but also am struggling to know what boundaries I might have to take. I want to see them get better and back on track. They were doing so well and I know they were/are proud of their progress. I want to remind them that they’ve done it before, but it’s like they become a completely different person when drinking. One that I honestly don’t really enjoy being friends with…I’m not sure what to do next or if I do anything, but I just wanted to get that out of my mind. Any suggestions are much appreciated. Thanks 
I feel you. My BFF in program just relapsed, she's headed to rehab tomorrow. She had almost 6 months of sobriety, I'm at almost 2 years. The hardest part for me is not having my person I talk to everyday, you know, the venting sessions I'm not going to have with my sponsor. It made me realize, even though I am super connected in my meetings, I am not super connected to individuals, just the group and that's lonely. So, I have to learn to trust more, to be vulnerable with other women. It's just hard
Thanks for sharing your thoughts/feelings ladies 
I feel like for me personally to figure things out it will be an ongoing thing. We just have to keep trying.
Hey maria , i am a peer support and also teach relapse prevention and working my way up to become a certified addiction counselor.
I had the same issue last week someone i met while doing an i.o.p 18months ago . We kept connecting and he had about close to two years and had a slip
Let me tell you it was soo and still is for me tricky because i felt ashamed for not having picked up on some signs of contemplation or pre contemplation as we learned.
I felt like a bad friend , and i started even second guessing myself career wise.
Truth is , i knew what to do in a professional setting but not so much on a personal level like that.i started checking in all the time and had to PAUSE. because i had to go back to basic and work on my personal ‘tool kit’ that helped me to go back to basics and to make an inventory on what belongs to me and not have extra stuff thats not so much mine to carry.
Lastly i did what sounds silly but worked and i used the « what would i tell a friend in this situation »
And turns out that helped me applying it .
Stay strong , keep your recovery first and i really hope this will help 
Worry about your own sobriety first and foremost. Nothing and no one will ever get in the way of my sobriety.
Acceptance is the answer
As painful as it is, we are powerless over alcohol once we drink, OR when others drink. Cunning, Baffeling, and Powerful!! I have to remember that if I take that first one, then my circle of friends will see dr jekyl turn into mr hyde just like you are witnessing the change in your friend(s). Offer a ride to a AA mtg and let them know you are willing to take them to a detox IF they want help. And yes, somebody else mentioned it, "Acceptance is the answer..........." used to be page 449 in the BB, think it's 517 now. Read that if you want. Prayers for you and your crew.
I think you said it well, and you should tell this person that you aren't friends with the drunk version of him/her. That life's better without alcohol. And better without active alcoholic persons period. It might seem mean but 1) it could save that person from slavery if he or she sees the poison for what it's really doing, and 2) no more drunken ahole version of your friend making your life worse.
This is far from fool proof, however, sometimes believing in someone when they aren't believing in themselves is all it takes. I'm not suggesting that you down play their actions but rather that when they are sober, even if for a few hrs, that celebrating this is often enough to remind said individual. It may take a short while however.
I went to my 1st alanon meeting this week. I was took a card home with a list of Dos on one side... Do forgive Do be honest with yourself Do be humble Do take it easy- tension is harmful Do play- find recreation and hobbies Do keep on trying whenever you fall Do learn the facts about alcoholism Do attend alanon meetings often Do pray Do remember that you can't control cause or cure alcoholism. On the flipside of the card are Don'ts...Don't be self-righteous Don't dominate nag scould or complain Don't lose your temper Don't try to push anyone but yourself Don't keep bringing up the past Don't keep checking on the alcoholic Don't wallow in self-pity Don't make threats you won't carry out Don't be overprotective Don't be a doormat
Maria, I feel your struggle. Not easy and not fun. I’ve had many friends that chose to relapse too. I realized that they made their choices. I was afraid, angry, disgusted, disappointed and sad. Then I learned that all I could do was go on and focus on my sobriety and my service to people that TRULY WANT TO BE SOBER, and that are willing to go to any lengths to get and stay sober. I no longer judge people harshly, but I don’t waste my time either.
I hope this helps.
Good morning Maria.
I know how you are feeling. in early, I got connected with some amazing people. Unfortunately, they started doing some things that were detrimental to their recovery as well as mine. So I had to remove myself from them. That was one of the hardest things ever had to do.
I had to remember that the most important person was myself. And if I didn’t surround myself with people that were working a stronger program than me thennI would relapse..
One of the greatest things people did for me was distancing themselves all the way from me in my disease, it feels wrong maybe but you have to remember doing nothing is cosigning that and if they are bad for your recovery or serenity then you really have to follow your gut, which is clear from your post it's telling you to create a distance. We are sensitive creatures, I don't know about you but as I get farther from the substances the more sensitive I get to my thoughts feelings and the things happening around me. Nobody will do t
Your friends recovery for them and nobody will do your recovery for you we can't let ourselves get sidetracked or stay In situations we know we had better do something about. Can't tell you what to do for you though I'd say pray and talk to your higher power and the people who have what you want and see what they say and then ACT upon what you get(: