Today I'm 61 days clean and I'm greatful for it but ever since I came home from the inpatient treatment center I was at ive been fighting with cravings I can't sit still like I'm uncomfortable in my own skin almost and it's driving me crazy I feel like an ant under a microscope idk what to do I want to go to local meetings but I have no transportation I stay on online meetings 4 to 5 hrs a day but it's just not the same as in person I'm so frustrated I don't wanna be the person I was or go back to that life but how the heck do I stop this itch I can't seem to scratch 🤦🤦💔
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People have many methods of attacking back and resisting the itch. I personally like to reflect back in my mind to the times I was getting high or drunk and keep reminding myself I hate that feeling that I felt. Also try music therapy or meditation therapy. That ansy feeling I'd the worse, so when that happens try calling a friend or get a sponsor and talk out the frustration because it will pass.
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Julia, do you have sponsor? Are you working on the 12 steps?I’m friend requesting you now. I’m here if you want to talk.
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Get to the local recovery center. They can help you set up rides to and from meetings give you a list of in person meeting. They should even have a sober coach you can connect with.
For me in the beginning, art and music really helped I was fortunate to have my own car but I lived in sober living with several others who didn't I made it my service objective to help them get to meetings there is transportation help through recovery services. When alone with my thoughts and feelings in the beginning I prayed and I read my recovery books. Just for today sometimes looks like, just for 10 minutes at a time if that's all you can do.
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I always go second to second the first 90 days. If you can make it to one or better two outside meetings you should be able to get a phone list.... then see who is down for some service work? I.e. giving you a ride there and home. First time I got sober I had to play it like that but it work well at getting yovu out of the house and out of your head.
Best recovery experience is the one you go at like you went after getting youndrug of choice. Gotta use the phone network alot but that actually helps your recovery. Builds conversation skills. I am introverted and autistic as the whole spectrum and it helped me a lotttttt. I believe in you! If this ole heroine fiend can do it a drunk monkey can. It's a groove you will find and you'll find out who is and isnt about their recovery after getting rides to meetings.
I would go out wearing flip flops in the snow to get a fix so I go at recovery the same way with all of my focus.Thank you all for your advice I really appreciate it it helps to know I'm not in it alone my family is doing what they can to help or what they think it's helping it's just difficult to explain to a family that's never really been there for me(been on my own since 15) that now them trying to step in after the fact (I'm 32 with 3 kids) and micro manage my life isn't what I need and honestly I'm trying very hard not to set the bar high or except to much from my family in general because they always talk a great game but when it really comes down to it they never follow thru and I can't afford to put my self or my sobriety at risk rn by taking another hit from them like that it's almost like I'm always just waiting for the other shoe to drop idk hard to explain but I really appreciate all y'all letting me vent it really helps
I understand the cravings and not being able to sit still. Do you have a sponsor or work the 12 steps? It will get better! Play the tape all the way through. (Don’t just think of the euphoria you’ll get from using. Think about the downfall that is inevitable after that) That can help you resist those urges when you have them. Your addiction expects you to take action when you have a craving. Let it be that you tell someone else how you feel and take a suggestion from them. Eventually your brain will make the connection that when you want to use you do x instead of using. It will become more natural and eventually those cravings do subside. Just know that I have been where you are and it does get better.