Today, is 5 days. I struggled yesterday. My cousin just recently past and I don't have the means to travel to go to the funeral. It took a lot of praying yesterday. I'm just trying to do one minute at a time.
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Hugs. I'm sorry about your cousin. You can get through it one minute at a time. You don't have to be there to honor them. If you are looking to connect with the people who are there, see if someone can FaceTime you in at an appropriate time when you can connect with family who is gathering. It might be better that you aren't there. My family would be doing some heavy drinking at the after funeral luncheon. I would be tempted if I was the only sober person there. You can do this. Your cousin knows you loved them.
So sorry for your loss. Stay strong drinking will not bring them back. Save your life. 
