Today is day 3. I slept decent, woke up at 6am rather than 10am, and I feel normal rather than hungover and deeply ashamed. I'm really trying. Days 3-5 are the most tempting for me. Yesterday I cried because I tried to join an online meeting for the first time. I've never been to an AA meeting but I was in Alanon for a long time. Well my very first AA meeting never started. Then I realize if I don't go in person I don't get a chip. There's not really a point to this post other than expressing myself. I have some apps, books, and two people in my life who know about what I'm doing and support me.
I still need the big book though. And I don't know why but that chip feels so important to me.
Today I'm greatful for the energy I feel, the community I found here, and the courage it took to tell the people in my life about my sobriety goals
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Good job! I remember the chip being really important to me in the beginning. It was the physical representation and reminder that I needed to keep working the program. I would carry those chips in my pocket and grab onto them if I was tempted to pick up.