Today is day one day clean. I’m gonna fight this time sick because it’s starting to make me sick and I don’t want it to kill me. I don’t wanna live my life three years of doing this has taken so much and I need to remember that. Even though I’m 53 I still have life left in me. I start to feel good and then I think that I can do it all over again. It’ll be OK but it doesn’t work that way anymore because I get real sick and disappointed in myself. To all of you out there sober and doing great and with your wise words, I appreciate you.
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Congratulations 
Stay strong 
and always remember to believe in yourself.
You can do it!
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So good to hear you have decided to surrender!!!
One day at a Time we recover… so glad you’re here!! Now stay with us….
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Tammy ... You got this. All you have to do is surrender. It's tough, I get it. You're surrounded by it. You're east on 80, you're in West Sac and North Sac, the bogeyman awaits you.
You go west on 80 to Vallejo and Richmond... The bogeyman awaits you. You go north on the 505 the bogeyman awaits you same if go south. The only one who can change and keep you from relapsing is you.
Stay strong my friend.
Remember to give yourself a little grace and remember that you're human..... and that you're stronger than what you think you are..... and pray
I’m so emotional and scared because I want it so bad. And I need to be reminded like now I’m gonna be OK because I’ve never passed 20 days and it’s affecting my health. It’s affecting my blood pressure. It’s affecting my mental state and I don’t want it no more.
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How bad do you want to stop. Are you willing to go to any length to achieve sobriety?
All you need is the willingness.
Tammy, you’re not alone. I too was a chronic relapser. I finally make my sobriety and AA program my number one priority. I went to in person meetings daily, got a sponsor, did the 12 steps and did service. It was the best way to strengthen my resolve and become happily sober. It is the easier softer way.
You can do it too! I’m here if you want to talk.
Don’t be so hard on yourself your here your alive you have THIS chance to start a new life you made it having clean time is a blessing you know what needs to be done keep positive and keep going you can jump back into this program and this is where people care keep sharing you doing great 
Well seems like you are determined to make it. One day at a time . Try going to AA or NA meetings follow the suggestions
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Try to get to some meetings, every day if you can. That's what worked for me 
Good job and you got day 2
Give yourself grace and be patience. You’ve got this!
Do your best today. Do the same tomorrow. Ask for help Believe in the process/pay attention for like minded women who embody the spirit of recovery. I’m so so glad for my LIFE TODAY 
.