Today is my first day sober after what was probably my 20th relapse. Started a bender Friday that ended yesterday and haven't gone to work yet this week. In fact, I've missed about 3 weeks of work so far this year due to either being under the influence or withdrawing from alcohol. I missed close to a third of last year between hospitals, rehabs, etc.. Somehow I'm still employed. This right now feels like rock-bottom, but I've felt this so many times before. Truly having a very dark day and worried about my job. If there's any other chronic relapsers out there with any words of support, I should could use them. Thank you.
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Hi Ryan, my gentle suggestion is to do something different. There are tons of approaches to sobriety, and a ton of recovery programs. If what you have been doing hasn’t worked, then try a different approach. There are a variety of recovery programs to choose from: AA, The Luckiest Club, Tempest, SMART Recovery, Recovery Dharma, Refuge Recovery, The Sober Faction, Celebrate Recovery. We all have unique needs for our recovery, so test out a few different programs. Step out of your comfort zone, try things you usually would say no to. That’s how most of us got and stay sober. Good luck!
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Thank you. Been working at this thing for about 6 years now and I've tried everything there is in my general vicinity. Even travelled out of state for a long-term program. Right now I'm planning on going back to the start. I never put in the effort with AA. Now's the time.
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The key is you keep trying. All alcohol is poison. You obv have issues that are either in your life or your younger life you haven’t worked through and your numbing out. Try EMDR therapy or dang Ketamine therapy under a doctor or Naltrexone and an anti depressants along with EMDR. What internal issues are you battling?
I had to figure out what it was that kept me relapsing. I never made it more than 3 days. Eventually though, with some therapy, I realized just what it was that i was trying to cover up with substances. Learning the root can show you the tools needed to handle the relapses.
A lot of programs now have online meetings as well, so location is less important at this time. Be willing to do whatever it takes to stay sober and it will happen. You can do this.
WE will get by. WE will survive brother.
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Never quit quitting.
Hey Ryan, you sound like me! I used up all my personal and vacation time with drinking. I relapsed 2 times after I went to rehab. My work tried to help but I wasn’t done digging my hole. I did eventually get fired. Then I had to find a sponsor I liked and we worked the steps. I had to be honest with him and myself. It was hard at first but it’s so worth it today.
I have pretty severe depression. Lot of loneliness as well. I'm 42, so there's also a lot of regret and hoplessness. A mid-life crisis, if you will. But yeah, pretty self-destructive overall. There's a lot of work to do.
Ryan you are here and that is a step in the right direction. If I can to this so can you. I rank heavily for 30 years. Two treatments, DUI’s, lost jobs, bumps and bruises. Alcohol was my best friend and escape from everything. Last self detox literally killed me. I got that call of desperation that everyone talked about in AA. I know I will die if I d Ed vet drink again.
My point is, if I can do this, so can you! Keep reaching out here. Good people! And yes, AA and meetings are certainly in your best interest. Get help with the depression. Drinking is feeding that problem. And as someone mentioned, you can start with AA on line and mental health help online too. One of my many mantras today is it is so much easier to stay sober than to get sober! Do it one day at a time. Keep coming back my friend. By the Grace of God and the help of others sobriety and the good life awaits! Reach out anytime.
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Fellow chronic relapser here. The support I have to offer is to let you know it’s a common experience. It’s easy to feel that there is something wrong with you when you hear a lot of long term success stories and can’t seem to get there yourself.
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Thank you. I just had 2 terrible detoxes in a row. My doc gave me more than enough benzos for the first detox, so what does my stupid addict brain tell me to do?! It tells me to save half the pills and go on another bender. This one is different, somehow. Can't put my finger on it, but this detox is particularly affecting my depression. Feeling a bit better today than yesterday, and I'm glad for that.
Thanks. Yeah. I went to work today and they surprisingly let me stay. Over the past 2 years I have severely disrespected my position of employment and they just keep giving me breaks. Had several sit-downs with HR and they've been extremely understanding. Too understanding, I'd say. I was away at a long term rehab for over 3 months last year. I would've fired me for sure. Thank you for advice. I plan finding a sponsor this weekend at what used to be my home-group. I'm ready for this.
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Yep I’m in the middle of all that too. Two divorces, 4 kids etc.
That's rough. It's always just been me and me. No kids. Never been married. Just a reclusive drunk. Parents worry a lot, but that's not enough to make me fix my mess for good. Don't really have a reason to exist, but I just can't think about that.
I’m a Wharf Rat, check out FB groups for connections. I saw Dead & Co in Mexico at an all inclusive (free booze) and didn’t touch a drop. Had meetings on the beach each morning. If your into the Dead, try that route.
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I'm acquaintances with a couple of Wharf Rat guys. They're a big part of the sober community around here. I don't socialize too much with those guys or anybody, really. That's something I need to work on too. But yeah, I like what you guys got goin' on. It's cool.
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My problem is I don’t socialize enough either. I even went to that show in Mexico I mentioned alone. But I’m trying to get out more, with the wharf rat folks we already share a common bond beside sobriety
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I love the Dead. These guys I know take it to a whole other level. Their home group meets tonight. Maybe I'll make my way down there and try to chat it up with them. I haven't been to that meeting in some time, but it's a good one.
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