Today is my second day after making the decision to see if I can stop. Having been sober in the program for 13 I started drinking in 2018 and really haven’t stopped until just now. I used to sponsor a whole gaggle of women and participate in every level of service work. I’m embarrassed and ashamed and trying to convince myself I can do it without a program. But I know that takes away an entire life’s purpose. To help others so I am here trying to get my head in the game to get myself to a meeting
10 Likes
Remain humble and head back to the rooms asap. Go back to the ones you were comfortable with. I know it's hard, but you will always be welcomed back. It's just making that initial one again that weighs on you. Once you do that the stress of it will lesson. Wish you the best!
3 Likes
Thank you for taking the time to respond. I truly appreciate it. Humility is what I’m working on today. I pulled out my old big book and started to remember the gifts that recovery freely offers me. I book marked a few meetings around town today. 
2 Likes
Welcome home Jessica! I was a member in good standing for many years as well. Stayed sober from alcohol and drugs from 1989 until 2016. Many of those years I was a dry drunk, and doing on my own. Without a daily program or a wonderful fellowship, I was no match for this disease. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you what happened. Anyway, I’m back and feeling great. It was humbling in the beginning, but all that ego bs does slip away as you work your program. You are blessed to make it back. Your brothers and sisters are happy to have you back!! 
2 Likes
Thank you so much. I appreciate your words of encouragement. Every little bit helps. I’m so glad you found the path back.
1 Like
It sounds like you have some good self-awareness going on. It’s tough, but swallow that pride and walk back in to the rooms with your head held high. Not everyone makes it back, but you can - because you want to, and have done it before. Work that Step One - get a head start on working with a sponsor again.
1 Like
Seasoned “ROOKIES” is what we are ALL about! Welcome back you have found the right spot! Been sober 20 years 20 years with periods of sobriety! (relapsing) Keep up the good work! O2-28-2OO2
1 Like
Thank you Thomas good advice.
Don’t isolate.meetings talk to your friends .You can do this!!!!!. Aa 
Congratulations on an amazing display of grit and confidence!! I can already tell from how realistic you are with your life, you will find your way back!! Congrats in advance!!