Today is the day that they admitted my mom into her long stay at the hospital before she left all of us and passed away on 05/16/2023. It's like I'm counting down the days I knew then last year my gut told me that the outcome was not going to be good that she would not be coming home to us but also know that I am one of the biggest and only reasons that she left early I also predicted that when I started using meth about 7 years ago I told my mom and dad that she would be gone sooner than later that I was taking precious time off her life because of the hurt that I was putting her through. Because of my own struggles and the demons that I had on my back I know that I cost my mom her life how do I live with that how do I go on staying sober when it would just be so much easier getting high with all these unanswered questions
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My condolences. My actions that were caused during my active addiction. I was controlled by the mineral obsession and the phenomenon of craving. Once I got clean and sober, I started working the 12 steps. I started digging down deep and getting out all that pain and regret and resentments that I’ve held on for years. When my brother was 21 years old, I told him I hated him, and I wish she would die. He was murdered at 21 years old, and I had continued to use for 9 more years. When I got three years sober, I buried my three years medallion at his grave, and made a living amends. Every day I continue not to pick up a drinker job I continue to make amends to my brother.
My pops passed away 5/15/23 I understand how you feel