ACA Meditation:
Inner Drugs
"Because we were raised in chaotic or controlling homes, our internal compass is oriented toward excitement, pain, and shame. This inner world can be described as an ‘inside drug store.' The shelves are stocked with bottles of excitement, toxic shame, selfhate, self-doubt, and stress." BRB p. 16
Do the following situations sound familiar? We walk into a room full of strangers and instinctively find the most toxic people in the room to befriend. We leave home with "just enough" time so our adrenaline is pumping when we arrive at our destination. We over-commit ourselves so that we can't possibly do everything we promised, and then shame ourselves because we've failed yet again.
Wow does it ever. I do pack my day. There once was a time when i completed… no. No. I always overstuffed my schedule and there was always something undone. Oh man!
Of late, my sober journey has led me to slower living. I still put stuff on my to do and manage to only get some of it done. Am i still over stuffing? Am i creating dread for myself?
Today- i will put one important task on my list and consider the day accomplished when its completed.