Tonight I had to reach out to a fellow addict in recovery who was a man, to tell my now ex to stop emailing me. I tried to remain his friend. That is no longer possible. Heartbreak sucks. Even if it was my choice. I am sad. I am surprised it led to me having to ask someone to ask him to leave me alone. I am embarrassed by the whole thing and want to hide now. So here I am, telling random app strangers. Sigh.
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Today went worse. I saw him at a recovery event and he was frantic and obsessive and talking about me to my friends, is what I was told by others. I had to leave after two hours. I couldn’t handle it. This hurts so much. I tried to make it work. I tried to be friends. I wish I never did any of it. So many cuss words.
I was told hurt people, hurt people. I was also told to pray for the sick & suffering. Praying for someone else gets me out of my head.
Last weekend a gal who ghosted me, reappeared via text. She asked a short question, told she stopped drinking (not working a program), knows i work a program, and started to reminisce about the past.
We were on, then friends, then back on, then she ghosted me.
I told her I couldn't be just friends with her, and I copied and pasted a line from the song Senorita done by Camilla Cabello and Shawn Mendez. I told her how it hurt that she told me she was seeing someone else. She said sorry a bunch of times, o didn't reply.
Sting said it best 4 me - "If you love someone, set them free" (dramatically incorrect, good message). It sets me free also.
Another rant by Niel.
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I was taught people create stories. I would look closely at her story..
Excuse me?
You didn’t deserve to carry that pain on top of everything else you’re already healing from.
Setting boundaries is hard. Especially with people we once cared about. You’re not weak for walking away, you’re strong for protecting your peace. Keep showing up for yourself, that’s what’s important. That’s the real win.
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It’s important that people hear your story. I went through a similar situation, and it’s scary. You go through so much in recovery and hope for the smoothest transition, you don’t want to hurt anyone and hope the best for them. But, we can’t control their journey. Sorry this happened.
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I meant no disrespect, I don’t think my wording was what I meant to express. I honestly think it’s an important message.
No I was confused it’s why I said excuse me question mark lol. Thank you. 
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