Tonight I left work a little late and had to make a mad dash to the bus stop. I was seriously about 20 feet away from the stop and waving my arms as the bus approach and she just flew right by me anyway. I was so frustrated because the next one wouldn’t come for another hour; it was cold and I had just been having a bad day in general between stress about money, work, relationship issues.
Of course the bus stop just so happens to be directly in front of a bar. Not a regular haunt of mine really but one I had definitely been into. I’m not even sure if it was a full on craving to drink until the next bus came or just instinctive because that’s I would do without any thought in active addiction.
All I know is that by the grace of my higher power I immediately shut the thought down, starting walking back to work and spent the last money in my bank account on an Uber home. It’s money that I’m trying to save but that money 100% have been gone if I sat at that bus stops any longer. Better money spent on a safe ride home than a surefire path to complete wreckage.
I’m feeling really grateful for online AA meetings because I definitely knew that I needed one tonight and even though it was 12:30am by the time I got home where I’m at, I was still able to surround myself with alcoholics 