So, proud to be 4 days clean, but my brain is still my brain and I woke up (from minimal sleep) realizing that tonight is the night my husband is on call for work and will be gone until Wed night. When I have had a few days of success, Tues night comes along and I allow it to sabatoge any success I might have made. I have pretty bad PTSD (amongst a handful of other ABC conditions) and began relying on having my husband around to alleviate some of my anxiety, so tonight is usually the night that I give in to my scrambled brain and say 'eff it' once again and go get alcohol.
I have been a binge alcoholic for over 20 years, and quit multiple times, but I hate this cycle, and I can't let it continue or I will die, not exaggerating.
What do you guys do to keep the 'eff it' perspective out of your head when your brain tries to sabotage your progress?
Get into a program of some sort. The fellowship and accountability will do more for you than I can explain. Find a Tuesday night meeting in your area. Start working a honest program, get a sponsor and work the steps. Hope it all works out for you.
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When I have quit before the first two weeks were always the hardest. Think about all of the reasons you don’t want to drink and about having to start over. 4 days is a good start. Stay strong and take it one day at a time.