Topic discussion.. what was your lightbulb moment that made you realize you were an addict?
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When I tried to control it, I didn't enjoy it. When I enjoyed it, I couldn't control it.
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Well idk about lightbulb, but it was the moment I knew that it was either going to be die or get sober. I ended up in icu at University of Wisconsin hospital with my organs failing. I was orange and my bilirubin was 33.9 (should be below 1) I had so much fluid on me that they drained 2.5 gallons of my abdomen. If I hadn’t responded to the prednisone I wouldn’t be here today. I knew my drinking career was over but I had no freaking idea how to do it. I relapsed three times after that before I made it to long term recovery (two years sober 11/10 of this year).
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Thanks for sharing
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When life became unmanageable
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The whole time I was drinking, I always said that I was an alcoholic. More in a joking manner but I wasn't lying. But after about 4 years, I was hitting rock bottom. Depression spiraling out of control due to being untreated for years. I was considering suicide. I attempted suicide 2 times. Now I'm alcohol free and on meds. It made me better. I don't necessarily consider suicide the answer but I'm not exactly over the idea either. It's a bit of a battle.
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Feeling withdrawal symptoms made me recognize I needed drugs to function. When I recognized that drugs and alcohol were my favorite things in my life I was happy addict. Years went by and happiness faded. Now with 33 months of continuous sobriety I am truly able to be happy.
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Awesome to hear your stories
I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror, about to shave, and I saw what I had become. That was my moment of clarity the Big Book talks about. At that point, I ask God to help me. I started attending meeting and working the steps, and haven’t had a drink since. It hasn’t been quite as easy as I made it sound, but it has certainly been worth it. I could not be more grateful!
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When I noticed I couldn’t be around a shot and not take it. Wine and beer? I can turn it down, if that’s all there is I’ll stay sober. But if there’s vodka around- even if I have to work and my brain is going “don’t do it! For the love of god!” It’s like I can’t stop myself. And that always leads to more shots, like I’m trying to get to the drunk part as soon as possible. That’s not normal. I knew I had to re evaluate. Plus the constant justifying of my drinking (not normal), stomach pain all the time (not normal), and planning events and life around taking shots (not. Normal.) I realized that perhaps my drinking was…. Not normal.
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Waking up near the inner coast of Florida not knowing why or what happened that got me there. Then spending the plane right home throwing up in the bathroom. I was so hungover yet right once I arrived at home I continued to drink even though I couldn’t take a few sips without gagging. I just needed to feel “happy” again.
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wow, you stated it in the best way possible.
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When my daughter told me that daddy said to stay away from mommy when she's acting crazy (a/k/a drunk). When I couldn't remember embarrassing and pissing my husband off more times than I can count. When I realized what I was missing because alcohol ruled my every thought. When my work withheld a pay increase because I was making so many mistakes due to my alcohol induced anxiety. The list goes on and on unfortunately.
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When all I thought about was the next high.
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