It is wild how much mental health and trauma have affected my life. My first visit to a counselor was great. Just in the time I spent with him, he knew why i did or reacted to situations better than myself.
He asked me about my childhood and my parents. Both my parents were alcoholics and physically and mentally abusive.
My mother was more abbusive before the age of 5 and around the time she left. She would pass out drunk midday. If she was awakened, she was violent. So my brother, sister, and myself were always quiet because of fear and the threat of violence.
My counselor asked me if I had any hobbies. Yes, I go to meetings and the gym. He told me those aren't really hobbies. What eles do you do? I stay home, and I am pretty quiet. He responded by telling me that my mother played a big part in why I do this.
Side note I watched a video and summing up adhd in 60 seconds on Facebook. The video summed up was that flight or fight modes are the only choices in high stress situations. As children, we aren't able to do these actions. That children tune the world out as a coping mechanism. Crazy right?