My stepson out of the blue started messaging me yesterday calling me names and insulting me, threatening me, because he was mad at his dad for not telling him happy Birthday 2 weeks ago. He's 27. He was trying to push every button and reel me into a situation to use me as a free punching bag. I grew up without a father and I understand his feelings but attacking me and me just swallowing every bit of it sucks, and his real mom is agging it on. We have chosen recovery and they choose anger and violence, his ex used to work at the police department and thinks they can bully anyone, and because I am an ex addict I am the easiest target....my insides are vibrating because of the anxiety trying to keep it all in. God, please put a loving hand of compassion on these people. The kid has reasons to be upset, but it's just the most difficult situation to be in....I'm damned either way so it's just ok that I have to take ir? I'm literally on the kids side, he just chose me and I'm barely hanging on....
I am not a "dry good" addict, I'm speaking solely as an alcoholic in recovery.
I was told that when someone wroongs/hurts me to pray for them for 30 days. Pray that he/she finds healing, peace, serenity, and that the hand of God help him/her.
I've done it. It works, I feel so much better. I hope that you try this for 30 days straight and investigate if it works. If it doesn't, your fragile state will still be there.
I experience this torment from people so often I have no idea how to cope with it either.
My mother who I live with does this to me regularly, whenever she feels like it.
Then I have had employers, business associates, partners, friends, family members, house mates, landlords, next door neighbors, and countless others do this to me. It is never okay.
Sometimes I think about how being someone's emotional punching bag is harder because if someone was physically hitting me at least they would get imprisoned or charged for it, even if I was too damaged to call the police, the wounds on me would be enough to do something about it but when it comes to emotional battery I internalize it and it causes me mental anguish, which is basically invisible physical injury.
I have PTSD now and I suffer from different forms of amnesia because of how recurring it is and how it has been caused from so many people.
I know it's your husband's son so you have no other choice but to engage with it. However he is over the age of 18 so maybe you could stop engaging with him and his mother? I know the feeling of having to make a hard almost impossible choice with this. It is either live with my mother or be homeless right now. I was already homeless once so I know how hard it is to be homeless, so I am choosing the lesser evil.
I'm glad you posted about this. Thank you. Hang in there.
You hang in there too, I knew going in there was going to be bad days, I have since blocked them and have been praying for their healing, ptsd is no joke and that's why I came on the platform to vent, so I can journal it and vent it to people like me, like you, that understand how sometimes something they care nothing about, affects us so differently like from the inside out, my chest tightens so much and my stomach starts spasming so hard it make me nauseous and I start pacing. And my hands start locking up if I Don't address it ASAP. It took all day to calm down....Thank you so much 
and hope your situation gets better too! I'm sorry you have to live with your mom, I remember those days and I Don't miss them.
I'm going to do it
Stacey, sending you love, light and clarity💗. It can be difficult to have compassion for sick people that lash out at us. But it’s our path to being free from pain.
I pray for them to find peace and love.
I pray for you to elevate and be free.
I’m here if you want to talk
Hey Stacey, you’re right he is lashing out at you because you’re the closest thing to his dad. he’s hurt and he probably can’t say it to him, so he’s throwing it at you. Honestly. That pain isn’t yours to carry though . You didn’t cause it, and you don’t deserve it.
You’re right to feel triggered. That is probably your nervous system picking up old wounds and trying to protect you.
Boundaries.
You can be kind and still say, “I won’t let you speak to me like that.”
And your husband needs to step in too, this isn’t just on you to hold. Protect your peace. You matter here and so does your sobriety. It will be hard boundaries are rarely easy but in the long run it will be better for you.
Thank you for replying! I wish my husband would step in, but he's afraid to start something more because of how they are. They can be really hostile. It's sad that the mother would be happy to hear her son cussing and being disrespectful to me because she all of a sudden hates me since we began recovery. Now we have to treat family like boundary invaders and block them. That was the last thing we wanted.
That’s like my grandkids don’t want to use again it didn’t do anything for me but me being broke again now the kids is getting on my nerves so much. I wanna spend my last dollar trying to find something that’s not gonna happen.
As hard as it might be I agree with others that you have to set boundries. You don't deserve to go through this and you don't have to if you block them and step away from them.We can only clean our side of the street and then we can pray for them as well.God will handle it for you just keep doing what your doing and have faith in your higher power.
Block these pple from your life. You don't deserve this bull.
Read the Freedom from Bondage story in the AA big book