Trying (and failing) to stay sober. Hoping I can connect

Trying (and failing) to stay sober.

Hoping I can connect with some people that are or have dealt with this same or similar.

My ex-wife is getting married to her new husband this week.

This morning my one and only son asked me if he could change his last name to their’s.

Talk about a shot in the nuts…. The only response I’ve sent him is: Why would you want to do that?

No reply.

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Hang in there and keep sober. We are all i. This fight together.

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All of that is heavy stuff. Reach out to your higher power. Talk to your sponsor, and other sober friends. If you don’t journal :notebook: today could be a good day to start. Writing letters to people who hurt me or to get out the feelings is SO helpful. Hang in there and have your non-alcoholic beverage (lemonade, tea, coca cola production, coffee). Do some yoga or just breathing exercises…

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Take a step back and take a deep breath stay strong and stay sober we all here for you

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Hang in there bud. I’m going thru a similar situation and I agree with what Adam wrote.

I’ve gotten to the point I want to be sober for myself (I feel a lot better mentally and physically) AND I’m better able to show up for my kids. Awesome dads unite :muscle:

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Settle in those feelings as long as you need until you find the best way to handle them. You are not alone.

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That is heavy. I'm sorry, Eric. Is there anything you can do to distract yourself without alcohol that would give you some comfort?

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Ooof. That’s heavy. It could also be turned into motivation to stay sober. Stay strong, man.

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Eric, it’ll get better and better the longer you stay sober and do service.
My X invited me and my dad to her wedding. Did we go? Hale no!!! After some sober time, I came to be friends with her husband. I like him way better than my X!! And I’m grateful I’m not with her. However, I do love her and hope she is healthy and happy.
Only real sobriety can bring this gratitude.
I’m here if you want to talk

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Your son is going to remember who showed up when things got hard. Right now he’s a kid making a kid decision maybe influenced by the people around him. In 5, 10, 15 years? He’ll know the difference between the guy who married his mom and the dad who stayed sober through the hardest moments of his life.
This week is brutal, but it’s not forever. Don’t let any of this be the reason you throw away your sobriety. You’re worth more than that, and so is your relationship with your son, even if he can’t see it yet. We’re all here for you

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Thank you all. I had a sleep on it. I may be the worst dad ever right now, but I made the decision to say no. Hopefully he realizes why sometime sooner than later. Just a nightmare day yesterday. Hoping today is brighter.

I really appreciate every one of your responses.

Thank you!

Good for you. If you feel strongly about it then go with it! None of us are in your exact position and we don’t know what’s best for you. Keep staying strong for yourself and your son

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As someone who had to rebuild the relationships with my children, it will require a lot of work. First I needed to love myself. Best quote someone shared with me. This timeframe is a tunnel and not a deep hole. Light at the end but it will not be a straight line. ODAAT

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Well said! :100:

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We're here for you.

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Hang in there Eric! I’ve been in a similar position where i’ve been a chronic relapser and when devastating things happen it can make a tough situation seem impossible, but I/we on this app are here to help show you it’s possible! I also grew up with an alcoholic father, our relationship was awful at times, but with his sobriety our relationship has blossomed and I can truly call him one of my best friends. I hope the same for you and I am sending you well wishes and support

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Keep calm man, this is very vital for you to stay calm and process these things happening. Write down what you are feeling, and think of some positive reactions. A negative reply or reaction can bite you in the a$$ later on.

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Only if the last name was Dragonsword or something. I'd take it as well!

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LOL - Right?!?