Really struggling…. Went to rehab across the counrty to get clean… been here for 6 weeks… in a 8 week program, and my “supportive” wife is just completely making me feel terrible for being gone… trying to rush me… and just making me think about everything BUT my recovery… i love her… but it seems like she puts ultimatums on my recovery… i am not ready yet to come home.. i need more time to heal. But shes saying im neglectful and all that… of her and my kids..
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Sounds like you should have a talk with her. She needs to know that you need the time to sober up . Heal and find you way in back into a world that will challenge you everyday. Does she drink ?
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She does… she doesn’t see being drunk as a problem.
My issue was crack and coke.. she thinks I should just snap my fingers.. we’ve talked so many times. We even did family counseling. Seems like addicts only understand addicts.
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I don't believe in labels you should never label yourself. Do you not think that her drinking and you drinking can lead you
Back to doing drugs.
You feel free to reach out to me .anytime
Make the next right choice, right?
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I do 100% believe that. It’s something we’re working on. She doesn’t drink often, but when she does she drinks to be drunk. I cannot drink anything tho.
You’re doing the right thing by putting your recovery first. It’s tough, but healing takes time, and you’re worth it. And I think you know that that’s what needs to be a priority right now and for that I’m extremely proud of you. Stay focused on your progress, your strength will benefit everyone in the long run.
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So for me it was not healthy for me to be around people who were still drinking until I was 1,000% sober and cool with it and it didn't affect me. Now I can go anywhere at the bars whatever parties doesn't bother me but do you think you can handle her drinking that much when you are just getting out of rehab?
How is life for you ?
If she's genuinely ready to help, she'll need to get to an Al-Anon meeting ASAP!
There, they will help Enlighten her on how to live with an alcoholic /drug addict in Recovery..You my friend need to get greedy, because if you don't help yourself first, you can't help anyone else... Sobriety and drug-free are Paramount in any normal circumstance..
He man. How are thing's?
I've heard this before. How do you reach out to people independently and thank you for your support with this person you sound like very genuine
Sounds like u need to make a choice you and ur recovery or her selfish concerns real love a person who really loves you will be proud of you and know it takes time to work on sobriety. She don’t give a care about u I feel like so I would put you & your sobriety first frig her. Sorry to sound so cold i’m just so tired of people always trying to control the other person. It took a lot of courage for you to even go out of the country to a inpatient place and get yourself better and she’s trying to rush it on you. It’s wrong if she truly loved you, she would want you to be better and take your time. Do what you Gotta do if you rush right back you’re gonna end up relapsing put u 1st your worth it!!!!! God bless
I have walked down some of the same roads as people have on here. If I can help am going to try to help. I don't want someone to make the same mistakes I have .. life challenges are good for for you but sometimes it it's nice not to walk down the wrong road. To answer your question I just speak from the heart .
I second this. Naranon is wonderful, too. I got into naranon and that led me to addressing my own issues with alcohol instead of just fixating on my then husbands addiction. A lot of people in relationships with other addicts can really struggle with codependency. She probably doesn't have the tools to express herself. Rest assured you're not neglecting your kids by getting help. She may just not have the language to say that she needs you there to parent as well and that she's probably just overwhelmed. Rightfully, so, but your recovery has to come first so that everything else can get taken care of. You're doing great.
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