realized it may have been the adrenaline at first but have been exhausted , so so tired and bored and dissociating my time away.
some mornings i wake up crying and not even sure why,
i have blurry flashbacks of moments or things i did or said , things people said or did, remember and greicing my ex .. feeling guilty for the way things ended and hurt for him tho i don’t want back and never will.
trying to ignore all the hurt n pain that’s lingering and trying to stop all the sudden memories of things i’d rather not remember but also now i’m sober is the best time n now i can heal properly from it all, just is so much hurt and emotions 
been so lonely n isolating myself .
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First, what you’re experiencing is hard, it’s the very real, very hard part of pulling away from drugs. Your brain is going in all kinds of chemical places that you do not understand or really have control over. It’s going to take a while for your brain to get right again, and that includes your depression, your body exhaustion and utter boredom with life. But I can promise you it will come back, it could be a while, like a few months, but you will feel like yourself again, if you stay the course and don’t use again. I promise you things are brighter on the other side. I know, I’ve been there and i am experiencing everything you just described, except the boyfriend stuff, right now being only one month clean.
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congratulations on one month clean , that’s huge . i’m proud of you 
i didn’t end up getting anything and very happy i didn’t
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