Every time I try to get sober it feels like im pushing a bolder up a mountain. No matter how many times I try or move forward I inevitably lose my footing and slide back down. Every time I slide...the battle back uphill looks harder and farther. 
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Hi Kris,
Happy New Year!
I suggest you getting the source of why you keep sliding backwards. Start with your childhood because that sets the scene for many things in our lives.
What hurts are you trying to numb? You're probably not even aware this s going on. Once you get to the source and do the necessary work, only then you'll be on your way to a sober life.
I did exactly that. It wasn't easy, pretty, or comfortable.
My issue was childhood trauma: sexual, physical, and emotional abuse and neglect. I was carrying this around for years.
Now I'm 1290 days free of alcohol. Was it easy? No.
I prayed to God to remove my desire then got to the source of my issues.
All the best.
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This isn't easy. Focus on what is immediately in front of you. Falling is part of the process. You can do this!
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Happy New Year to you as well. Thank you for the comment. Yeah I have things in childhood I have pushed down. Friends of said that I need to talk to someone. I'm so used to pushing the feelings away and doing other things so it's not going to happen overnight but thank you again
Hi Kris! Most suggest a daily recovery program to follow. Have you tried any? I’m having success with AA. I k ow others that are having success with several other programs. Either way, you shouldn’t be doing this on your own.
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Hi Kris! I can totally to relate to pushing a boulder up a steep hill. As Lee said, sobriety support programs can be helpful in getting through these moments, and a secret: it gets easier the longer you stay sober. Some suggestions: AA, The Luckiest Club, SMART Recovery, Recovery Dharma, Women for Sobriety, and Celebrate Recovery. I suggest researching each one, as they all offer something a little different.
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Your analogy is fitting. Zeus punished Sisyphus by making him push a boulder up an enormous mountain, only to have it roll back just before he reached the top. This was his eternal punishment for cheating death.
I know that I’ve cheated death more than once because of alcohol. Maybe we should just let that boulder roll to the bottom and walk past it, leaving it behind forever.
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Just the nature of the beast. Just keep quitting. Eventually it will stick
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Hi Kris, I feel your pain. When I think about being sober for the rest of my life, I feel so overwhelmed—the task feels impossible and screwing up feels inevitable. What I would invite you to do is try to shift your mindset away from the journey ahead and the heaviness of the boulder you are pushing. Remember how powerful it is to simply be where you are right now and how much you have already overcome and accomplished in order to get to this point right here, right now. I would be willing to bet that you are a fighter and you are incredibly strong—celebrate that strength, thank yourself for pushing the boulder this far. Hiccups are inevitable, but they do not negate all of the moments of strength 
pushing along right beside you!
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I was thinking of that when I wrote the post. Nod to you I didn't think anyone else would notice lol
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I used to do a lot more reading ( and remembering what I read ) before I became a drunk lol
Oh I didn't mean it that way...it's just that most people don't read past their phone lol
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That’s very true. And I wasn’t at all offended by your comment! I really did read a lot more before I became a heavy drinker. And my memory was a lot better back then. Just another thing that alcohol has ruined in my life.
Alcohol is my boulder, but I’m choosing to constantly try and push it up that mountain. No one is making me. I’d like to step aside and watch it roll all the way down and fall off a cliff, never to be seen again!
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Good morning and what has helped me is only think about these 24 hours. And if that’s too much think about it hour by hour. I had a timer that would go off every hour for a few days. It was crazy at first but I eventually didn’t need it anymore. Surround yourself with others on the same journey. This community is amazing btw 
you got this honey 
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The hardest decision/actions Ive ever made were the most beneficial/rewarding.
If there’s a desire, the doors will be open for a decision.. if a decision is made then an action can be taken.
If ya went to any lengths for your drink pill or fix, then go to any lengths for your recovery.
“How free do you wanna be”
Your comment was very helpful
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What would you suggest to another that shared the same dilemma with you? 
I meant it..,your comment was very helpful I wasn't being sarcastic
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I wouldn't suggest anything I can barely run my own life I am in no position to give suggestions to anyone else on how to live theirs
Hope the best for ya.. you made it this far. You’ve shown that you have the ability now use it
Skies the limit.
Actually beyond the skies
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