The words willfulness and stubborness come into my mind. I was in some very unhealthy relationships where they would bring home substances (even when I told them I was trying to get clean) but I'd drink or use whatever anyways. I was stubborn to think "well just one", I was willful to cause problems. I've been to jail, more then I'd like to admit over this very topic. I am now in anger management for a second go, and am WILLING to fight for my peace, my sobriety.
Just for today, I can't control others but I can control myself and how I handle negative situations. 
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Good job and good luck!
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