Two days ago (while celebrating one full week of sobriety) I lost my ability to hold back from confronting my partner about his drinking. I admitted to him that I am taking my recovery very seriously and that when he drinks in front of me it makes it much harder for me. I admitted that I'm not strong enough to overcome those feelings - at least not yet.
He admitted that he is also an alcoholic. I don't think he's ready to quit but he is making an effort for me. Now he's two days into his sober journey but there's a part of me that wishes that I could just accept him drinking in front of me instead. He gets really moody and angsty when he isn't drinking. I'm afraid we're going to end up breaking up and that will drive me to go back to drinking.
The vicious spirals of alcoholism are one of the main reasons I desire to quit - for real this time - not just another dry spell or "break", just rather finding peace in complete abstinence from alcohol for the rest of my life.
I'm proud of myself for making it this far.
Hi. I will have 21 months tomorrow and I still can’t be around a lot of alcohol. My husband does not bring anything in the house. He is a binge drinker that can go hard then be sick and not do it again for awhile. I have not been around my family and honestly will do whatever it takes not to go back to that miserable life. It sounds like your partner does have a problem if he gets angry. Just think, your life is worth saving my friend. One Day at a Time.
Thank you for sharing.
My fear is that my choice of sobriety will inadvertently cause an end to my relationship. But you're right that my life is worth saving - even if it causes other transitions in my life to happen.
Congrats on your 21 months and I'm happy for you that your husband is conscientious enough to keep the booze away from your safe place.
I have a similar situation with me wanting to stop and my bf having no desire to.
For him, he’s probably carrying a lot of conflicted feelings; he probably wants to support you, knows drinking his not good, but doesn’t like the idea of being “told” what to do, he’s still hooked on the “good times” of drinking and doesn’t want give that up. It’s probably way more complicated than that. All that said, it take a lot of courage to communicate the way you did, for what it’s worth, I think you did the right thing. Also, I’m a firm believer that it’s ok to do right by you. Took me a while to get there.
Sobriety must come first or you could lose everything else. If you cannot be around other people who drink then you may consider removing yourself from those situations. If they do not respect that you are not drinking then you have to question those as well... I'm 10 and 1/2 years sober. The work and commitment we do today will pay off.
Same situation here, I’m pretty sure it will be the end of my marriage if my husband quits drinking. I’ve noticed he’s disappointed with my decision. We communicated much easier
when we were both drunk! This is a terrible mindset for me to encourage him to fill that wine glass so he will chill out! I’m hoping my brain will adjust soon so I can think rationally. Celebrating a week tomorrow!
Hi there, just my thoughts.... you should focus on your recovery first. Yes, relationships end in recovery, usually because one gets in recovery and the other doesn't, it's just reality. However, if you are more concerned about your relationship ending than your sobriety, one of the 2 will for sure end. With doing the steps and focusing on your recovery and at some point if your relationship does end, you will have the tools to deal with it without using, it's just part of recovery and living life on life's terms. I wish you lots of luck, love and prayers for you.
I read a quote on here recently “while in addiction we gave up everything for one thing, in sobriety we give up one thing for everything” if your partner knows there is a problem and is not ready to change, losing you may be the catalyst that pushes him to it. Early sobriety is hard enough to navigate… having someone not be supportive is going to make it harder. Good luck, I hope it all works out.
When you just stop drinking cold turkey and are determined to use your willpower to stay sober, you turn into an absolutely miserable SOB. Often, these people are called dry drunks.
The 12 step cliche (there’s 1 for every occasion) is that you need to replace the spirits (booze) with spirituality. That can mean very different things to different people. But what is the common denominator is that we need to check our ego, accept that we can’t do it alone, and ask for help from people who have been where we are, and are now living a life we want to live.
It's really tough. Part of me wants him to be able to keep drinking. I wish I could handle it but I know I just can't.
I feel like I've given him an ultimatum without wanting to. He's choosing me and therefore not to drink but it makes him irritable and we seem to struggle more with communication. But the smell of alcohol on his breath was making me feel so close to relapsing 