So me and my boyfriend of a year met and I relapsed after about 4 1/2 years clean… he would get clean but I would be in addiction and vice versa. We were both arrested in May and for the first time we’re both clean. I’m in sober living, coming up on 3 mos clean and active in NA.. he can’t wait to get out and be clean of his addiction and start a relationship both on the same page. I’m scared because we’ve both been through the worst to having a place to living out of my car to having money to stealing for it …we were monsters but we found home in each other. I love him deeply but he’s getting out soon and as strong as I think I am I’m in early recovery.. He is from PR and doesn’t have family here.. I’m his family.. so between dealing with our ups and downs and the pressure I want to be with him but I don’t want to risk relapse. What are some ways to make this work? Is it even possible?
I think the only way is if you both can stay clean. If either of you feel like you’re going to relapse then maybe have your sponsors ready. If he isn’t ready to commit to the program like you have then I wouldn’t commit to him. He needs support beyond just you, that is too much burden for you to bear.
You are beautiful and don’t need that man as much as you need your sobriety! Love you girl, here for ya 
Thank you for your advice. Some say to keep away feom him entirely but had my ex of 9 years done that, I may not even be here today. He helped pull me through and in a way I feel like I’m being tested.. it was done for me and who knows… I may just be the one person worth staying sober for until he realizes he can do it for himself ..if that makes sense.
Stay focused on what you’re doing. You can show him by example
Like they say, he has to wanna be sober for himself before it’ll stick. I think you can be a good example though and if you can change and stay sober maybe he can too? I would definitely make that youlr
Bottom line though. If he uses you’re done. No second chances.
You have some time under your belt girl and your kids, don’t *%c%# that up for him. There are a lot of good, sober men out there. 
I agree with Sophia 
you gotta set healthy boundaries and if he’s not respectful of this boundaries you gotta be willing to walk away. I know it’s hard, I just went through it myself where my wife didn’t respect my boundaries. If I can manage to stay sober through this anyone can. Set those boundaries and stay firm with them. If he really wants it to work he’ll set healthy boundaries as well and respect what yours are. I hope things go well for you and him, but keep your recovery and his separate or it will not work out. I’m speaking from experience on that. Best of luck.
Thanks fortunately we won’t be living together I’ve set them boundary for myself. I know it’s too early for that. I’m in a sober living house and I’m not ready to leave. Not for him or anyone else. It’s giving me a healthy support system and accountability.. thank you for your advice 
I think that if you are 100% committed to being sober, like from the depths of your soul, you will have to cut ties with your boyfriend. Relationship drama and the presence of another addict will provide easy justification to use again.
These are tough situations no doubt. To say the odds are stacked against you is probably accurate. That being said when it comes to matters of the heart nobody can really tell you what to do. It's a completely personal decision. If it's meant to be it can work if it's not, it will become obvious at some point. Good luck
Only you know what is best for you. My boyfriend and I got sober together and we have a good relationship overall. It can be stressful and it takes work, but we are both committed to our sobriety and to working through our shared issues. I would have a serious talk with your boyfriend and lay out what your boundaries are. Best of luck to you
Lots of help and meetings.every day.