Yes I will get back up but I’m so sick of doing the very thing I detest!!! When is enough enough? Hopefully I don’t wait for the Godsmack! Praying to get the job and turn my life around! Jesus! Help me! Prayers appreciated cuz if this pattern continues i will die! Either of OD or suicide cuz the spiritual battle is tormenting!
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Take a moment and breathe
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I pray for you🙏 to get through this. I had to go to detox and break the vicious cycle. The day I got out of the hospital I went to in person AA meeting. And then 2-3 times 7 days a week for 3 or 4 years.
I decided to beat my addiction and take back my mind and my life.
You can do it too!
I’m here if you ever want to talk
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When you get to tired to keep digging the hole…. Total surrender is a good start. AA saved my life. I had to decide that I wanted to live and not die. God stepped in and yet I reached out in desperation. He pulled me over. I’m a miracle because I couldn’t stop drinking on my own. Thank you Jesus!
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Yes, pause, breathe, ground and recenter. Ask questions, knock, seek, find. Meth can be a tough kick but it's so very possible. For me the energy drain was the toughest part yet diet, exercise and a little bit of hormonal help made a great difference. Maintaining my physique is one thing that keeps me from going back there.
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Don’t try doing it on your own. You need support and direction. What you wrote is scary and no one wants that for you. We want you to succeed and be free from the drugs and spiritual battle. We want you to be happy and sober. I’m praying for you girl! Be strong and fight for what you’re worth💪
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Sorry for your struggles. This disease has the power to take us places both mentally and physically that are unimaginable. I agree with what others have said…please don’t do this alone…go get help asap. You have an illness that is deadly, but it is treatable! I don’t know what you have done to try and stay clean and sober, but I strongly recommend a program. With help, you can do this!
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Love to you. For me, I am now constantly praying for help, guidance and serenity. I’m praying for you too. Full surrender - like on my knees - has had the most post impact for me - and sober supportive people. If you can, let us know how you are doing soon. 
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I'm in agreement that you're DRINKING AND USING CAREER HAS BEEN RUINED AND RECOVERY HAS BECOME VERY PERSONAL FOR YOU. You no longer have to experience relapse. Be willing to FIGHT FOR YOUR RECOVERY
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Thank you everyone! I have decided to go back to inpatient treatment. My husband just graduated and we relapsed together and I am just stuck, tired and sick of day 1’s! I just want my family to! The God loving, fearing, serving family! Then I had it and I couldn’t quit! I think if I had I would have been able to talk my hubby out of his relapse!? Anyway we decided to separate and go back to treatment and then separate living until we are firm in our recovery, but at least a year. Praying and prayers appreciated!
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I was there only thing that gave me anytype of helps is a Religious program like sober living or rehab what ever you can find that helps