Ugh, relapsed again. 6 years of trying to stay sober and albeit I have some decent sober time under my belt I can’t seem to stay sober. The last couple weeks I had only been having a few drinks a day but that’s still a few too many so I checked in to rehab for a 2nd time. The first time it was amazing, I immediately saw the light, felt a weight off my shoulders, was positive. This time around though I have this insane feeling of deep depression and loneliness that I can’t shake. I have been crying on and off for 2 days and I’m not normally a cryer. I have read a ton of posts saying it will get better and tons of advice on how to shake it which I am doing all of, but a huge part of me just wants to isolate and sulk. Thankfully I haven’t lost anything due to my alcoholism and I think that’s why subconsciously I came back to rehab before I did lose something but I still feel like a failure to myself, my wife, my kids. I have accomplished everything in my life I have set out to do, except staying sober. Will the depression fade soon? I hope so, I have never felt depressed before in my life and it’s a gut wrenching feeling. Definitely a wake up call though so may be my higher power showing me it’s time to get serious and never go through this again. I guess this is more of a rant and to get things off my chest to people who have been through what I have. Thanks for reading y’all.
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Thanks man, that helped a ton to read!
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Get in to a program.can not do this a lone .90 meetings in 90 days.stay with the winners. Get a sponsor.
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