I was uncomfortable in the stillness.
it’s been one of the hardest parts of my recovery. I don’t like being in my head. So I hit a lot of meetings that first year, at least for an hour I didn’t have to hear Leslie’s broken record of how much I hated myself for this and that or who did what to who. I had to have noise. TVs or radios blaring to hopefully muffle the self hatred until I started working the program nothing could quiet my mind. I just celebrated 2 years sober (clean) so I bought a puzzle, maybe this with work? I notice all I’m thinking about is the shape and the size of the puzzle pieces. It’s quiet when I get up early and work on it and I’m not crawling out of my skin to rush to turn on the tv or music. I’m not drinking or using either….This is why I love the program. 
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Exactly what I need to hear or read or not hear .... You get the idea. Thank you 
you summed up my emotions after 5 months of being in my head into one kick asssssss paragraph. Thank you stranger but not danger.
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Lasardo, you have proved to yourself that you ARE capable of successful behavior even when your mind isnt up for it!!!! Well done….Keep going and be gentle just gentle on everything..,, Keith Kayle
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