Thanks for everyone for all the support. I did go to the hospital today in hopes of being admitted to an inpatient facility. The hospital experience was awful. They just put me in a room and the only time anyone would come to my room was when I pushed the call light. The nurses were rude. I told the nurse I wasn't feeling well and my anxiety was high and my sugars were low. Over an hour later still nobody. (Going on 5 hours already there) Push the call light again. Different nurse so I told her I needed to eat and use the bathroom. Once in bathroom original nurse tries barging in and I told her to leave me alone. She got mad and started yelling at me. Called me liar and it wasn't over an hour. While in bathroom, nurse was outside bathroom door talking about me to other staff. She was saying I didn't belong there, I was faking my situation and I my self harm marks were only scratches and I'm attention seeking. So I left bathroom go back to my room, got dressed and left. Husband comes to pick me up. While driving home the police call and say I ran away. Husband is nervous, (we have a court ordered no contact due to previous alcohol related situation). Kicks me out of the vehicle 24 miles from home. In the middle of nowhere, corn fields and farms everywhere, roadkill on the roads. I walked almost 12 miles before police found me. Called crisis line with officers, set up safety plan and the nice officer took me home, front seat of squad. My feet are blistered and swollen and in excruciating pain. But that 12 mile walk felt amazing. I cried, I threw rocks, yelled at the top of my lungs. Released a lot of emotions that needed out. I'm home, I'm safe and again I'm 24 hours sober. Thanks for the continued support!! This was the shortened version of my day. Thanks you all!! I'm alive and I'm ok.
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So glad you are safe Elizabeth !!! Many people and hospitals just don't get it...try looking into a rehab center, where their mission is treating addition. You sound very strong and I know you can do this!!
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i’m so sorry. i’ve always felt scared personally about someone saying my self harm marks aren’t deep enough too screw them
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Where I live, going to the hospital is where you have to start unfortunately. You can't just go to a center and ask to be admitted. The process here is so broken. It's very unfortunate and no wonder suicides are occurring.
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Rehabs and detox units are much better than hospitals. Maybe make a few calls? If you look hard enough you'd be surprised how much help is out there. You may have to go out of state.
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