Used a fight with the wife as an excuse to drink last night. Felt self righteous because she had no empathy for my situation. I am fine up until something hits the fan and then my brain turns off completely. Any advice?
In my experience, I find it helpful to keep alcohol out of the house b/c moments like that make it too easy to pick up. I also reach out to another person in recovery.
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I would start by giving yourself credit for being honest with yourself about what you did and why you did it. Yes, it lead to a drink but self-awareness and self-honesty are powerful tools. You may also want to increase your daily interactions with people in sobriety. Often we expect empathy from those closest to us. Yet often those closest to us have suffered the most from our addiction and may not have the strength right now to provide the empathy we may need. Find it elsewhere so that the emotional need can be met (and I am just learning this lesson after 15 years of sobriety!). All is not lost. You had a slip. It is only negative if you choose not to learn from it. All we have is this 24 hours.
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Triggers are only triggers when we allow them to be. For every trigger to use, there is a reason not to!!
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Hi Christopher, my suggestion is to put a plan in place for when you do feel triggered. Go to a meeting, listen to a sobriety podcast, read quit lit, talk to another sober person. This gives your brain time to let the craving pass and you can approach the situation with a level head. Early sobriety is all about coming up with tools to help us cope with life on life’s terms. In sobriety it is important to have a sober community to reach out to when you feel like drinking so that you can work past the trigger. You are searching for things to replace the drinking that are productive and beneficial. Just keep on the path, it will come to you if you put the work it. Good luck!
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Absolutely love you reply! I find the more spiritually fit I am, the better I can handle these triggers. If I’m feeling well, I have empathy and understanding towards my wife when she vents her feelings. However, if I’m not in a good space, I get frustrated, defensive, and eventually angry. I don’t only feel that way towards her, but also towards myself for creating this situation in the first place. The answer for me is in the spiritual experience that is gained by working the 12 steps. Without it, I’m reacting out of fear, guilt, and shame. If I don’t change the way I feel and think, I will eventually look to escape back into the bottle. Hang in there Christopher, and look for ways to change from the inside out. 
