This morning was the second day in a row that I told myself I wasn't going to use and I did.
I gave myself the excuse to use by telling myself I didn't get much sleep last night so its ok. While that's true I slept little, it's no excuse and I could've made it through the day tired or whatever.
The truth is I just wanted to feel better and wasn't prioritizing my goal of getting sober.
It's also tough living with someone who uses my drug of choice.
I've got to do whatever is necessary to change.
Bro. You need to get away from your living situation. Personally, I would be homeless before putting myself in that very high risk situation. If you want it bro, you will find a way! You’re in my prayers friend!
I know, it's not ideal for sure. I just don't know how to change things at the moment
Get away from that person.
Get to the choppa, if you want to live.
Stay there if you prefer Groundhog Day.
Put yourself in treatment at least 30 days then find sober assisted living. I’m just saying I was at rock bottom homeless and completely lost. Not sure where you from but in Illinois if you want to get clean and you’re broke it’s all free. Maybe I was lucky. Not sure. Anyway start by finding resources go to meetings and counseling homie. I couldn’t do by myself. Find someone who knows something. There has to state help you can get. Look for it bro.
I heard "whatever is necessary " so you need to find a way.
Change your people, environment and if you can't white knuckle it which few can, get into treatment. Invest in your future self
Glad that you are sharing with us.
Not glad that you are going through this, Josh.
I have no additional insights.
I read what Carey and Taylor wrote…and yes, echoing their sentiments.
You will figure this out.
Keep trying.
Do not give up.
You can do this, get sober and remain sober!
…and also, what Teresa wrote, yes!
( I had yet to read your comment, Teresa ).
Josh, please keep us posted on what steps you plan on taking…so that things can change!
Thanks for the advice
I will do that. Gonna talk to my therapist tomorrow and come up with a plan
…thank you for letting us know, Josh.
Man, please know…that I know what it is like to be around people that make me wanna numb out with a substance.
I am helping my folks out and am around my dad…who I cannot stand.
While I am super protective of my mom…therefore researching therapists…so that my mom and I can remain sane around Cray, ( i.e., my dad ).
I call him Cray at times.
Because uh.
He is.
Just that!
C R A Y.
Wishing you the best.
I refuse to use a substance and lose my power, give up the power which sobriety offers.
And we DO have the power to change.
Keep utilizing the tools and resources available, Josh!
Keep us updated on your progress!
I had to pluck myself out of my old life and start to make a new one for myself! It’s wasn’t easy but today I have freedom from active addiction. Go to a meeting get some support and start your journey of freedom
Praying for you friend 
We make choices. To be clear, they are all our choices. The question is, am I choosing to get and stay clean? Is my sobriety the number one priority?
Choose wisely 
Good morning Josh how are you feeling today?
It is hard when we are first getting clean and sober.. because we are a loss of something we thought was our solution alcohol and drugs. We have to get away from it long enough to realize it was not a solution at all.
It was creating more problems than anything. Once I got further away from the drink for the drug, I got closer to the solution at 12 steps. higher power, my homegirl my sponsor my support group. Hopefully you can incorporate these into your life. I promise you if you will change your life.
Thanks Troy. I appreciate the perspective and letting me know your experiences