Do we fully accept the fact that our every attempt to stop drinking or to control our drinking failed?"
The room is dark. Your forehead is bathed in cold sweat. Your heart is racing. You open your eyes, sure that you've just blown your sobriety time. You've had a "drinking dream," and it was just like being there--the people, the places, the routine, the sick feeling in your stomach, everything. It takes a few moments to realize it was just a nightmare, that it didn't actually happen. Slowly, you settle down and return to sleep.
The next morning is the time to examine what really happened the night before. You didn't drink last night--but how close are you to drinking today? Do you have any illusions about your ability to control your drinking? Do you know, without a doubt, what would happen once you took the first drink? What stands between you and a real, live relapse? How strong is your program? Your relationships with your sponsor, your home group, and your Higher Power?
Drinking dreams don't necessarily indicate a hole in our program; for an alcoholic, there's nothing more natural than to dream of drinking. Some of us think of using dreams as gifts from our Higher Power, vividly reminding us of the insanity of active alcoholism and encouraging us to strengthen our recovery. Seen in that light, we can be grateful for drinking dreams. Frightening as they are, they can prove to be great blessings--if we use them to reinforce our recovery.
Just for Today: I will examine my personal program. I will talk with my sponsor about what I find, and seek ways to strengthen my recovery.