After so much thought and so much hitting the fan, I can't think of any sufficient reason not to start drinking and smoking again. I know it'll make parts of my life harder. I know I'll have to hide it for a while. It'll make certain aspects of my life so much easier. 8 months, though. I really wanted that year chip. I keep telling myself, if you still want to buy some tomorrow, you can. Every day, that's my answer to myself, because every day I want to buy some. I'm sick of being miserable. The last time I felt any semblance of happiness was when I was drunk, I think. Maybe I'm remembering what I want to. But I don't know how much longer I can hold out. I don't just want to anymore. I need to. What's one good reason I shouldn't. Please, I can't answer that question anymore.
It can be tough at times, but just remember you can do this. One day at a time! Getting drunk won’t make the problems go away, you’ll just wake up the next morning with the same problems plus guilt and shame. After that cycle a couple times your life gets out of control. It’s not worth it. I wish you well.
The buzz, dopamine rush, excitement and relaxation I think everyone on this app can relate to and understand. Unfortunately it’s all short lived and like the other person above me said, your problems will be waiting for you when the high wears off and you’ll be left with a hangover and guilt. My advice to you is continue on your 8 month journey ( which is awesome by the way!) and give yourself more time to find new hobbies, interests and people that make you realize that sobriety can be a gift, not a punishment.
244 Days! Don't go and buy that drink or smoke. You are 125 days short of your 1 year chip. If that doesn't put it in perspective for you, listen to Joslyn's advice.
I may be coming from a place of tough love, but don't do it brother.
Stay strong, mentally.
Go workout, start a new book. Listen to some motivational/self improvement podcasts , Paint, draw, take a cooking class(put the money you will spend on booze into something productive)!!!
The devil is trying to drag you back into his den. Every time we go back in there, there is a chance we won’t make it out again. I’m trying to find happiness too because for so long I have trained my mind to think alcohol and substances was it. It’s not. We suffer from addiction. You are too far in to give up now. I wish you the best.
I hope you’re doing better today.