Wednesday Check in

Recovery
#1

I’m 100% grateful for my recovery, and every aspect of it. I know today that I’m blessed because I GET to be sober today. I pray for those who haven’t gotten to enter the narrow path we are in. I pray for those who have found this path.

Currently on step 3, did anyone else really sit on this step? I’m stuck. Am I ACTUALLY ready to turn my will and my life over to the care of a God of MY understanding? I can run through this step easily, but when putting a great deal of thought into it.. I don’t think I’ve ever done that, I think I’m fearful of that change. Anyone have feedback?

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#2

I thought this short story of a team (a power greater than myself) might help shed a light on this topic and it goes great with your meme. I also at one time struggled with the 3rd step. Actually turning my will over to my higher power is a daily constant. I always find myself trying to take my will and my life back (intolerance). Life becomes easier with surrender and acceptance.

In the Army we was trained to do everything as a team. A team is definitely a force greater than myself. There is no way I could fight a battle alone and be able to win, much less win a war. Especially a war within myself. Granted we are trained to have mental toughness and fortitude, yet we can't win by ourselves. For me, my disease of addiction/alcoholism completely shredded my mental toughness and fortitude. My will (decisions) got me into the war with addiction. Logic says my will (decisions) can win the war with my addiction. What I failed to realize due to my ego is that addiction is definitely a power greater than my self, a negative power but still a power greater than myself. Especially fighting against both my ego and addiction. The disease of addiction and ego would intentionally mislead me and say, "you can do this alone, you don't need help." All along they're both sitting over there plotting and plannning their next several moves, while already having the intel on my next move. The disease of addiction and ego was always two moves ahead of me on the chess board.

I needed a force greater than myself. I needed a team to help fight this battle and the war. I had to surrender that I am powerless to fight this all alone with my own will. I had to surrender to and accept a power greater than myself to help fight a power greater than myself (addiction & my ego). I can't fight this without my recovery/sobriety team and family. My higher power put that recovery team and family in place for me. All I had and still have to do is surrender to and accept them and their help. Thanks to my higher power I can now have hope in winning this war against addiction and my ego.

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#3

I don't believe in God in any shape or form. For me step 3 was turning myself over to the care of the group or as Tim said, the team. This made more sense to me. How could I turn myself over to something that I find (for me) ridiculous? The group is there, right there in front of me, they answer when I call, and they don't work in mysterious ways. When I looked at it that way, it was much easier and made so much more sense.

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#4

Congrats on getting to step 3!!! I had a ton of problems with this step when I first came to AA many years ago. One of my issues is I didn’t have a sponsor and was afraid to ask questions. Thus, I read the steps and took them all so literal and absolute. Turning my will and my life over to the care of God just seemed like an impossible task. Me? I’m no monk, priest, or religious guru. So I basically never did it because I knew I couldn’t. This time around I’m working my steps with a sponsor, asking questions, speaking with others. Now I see it’s a step I need to “practice” doing every day. I still have issues with taking control, but who doesn’t? It’s a constant tug of war between my self will, desires and ego vs what I know in my gut what is the right thing to do. Anyway, do your 3rd step prayer every day, and realize none of these steps are a one and done deal. We practice these steps on a daily basis

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#5

Wow, that gave me a lot of insight into the questions to step three. Great example..Ty for your service (:

Thank you for your share, your time and good luck to you!

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#6

I truly appreciate your feed back, thank you for sharing your experience and taking the time to write back.

I especially resonated with your saying “it’s a step I need to ‘practice’ doing everyday. This reminds me of surrendering. Initially I thought it was a one time thing to keep in mind, later I realized that surrendering was something to be practiced every second and by the hour. I can now take that into consideration with step 3… thank you, I absolutely loved this.

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#7

Gosh I love this app, I just started a week ago and I love the feedback I get. Thank you for your share, I completely understand your breakdown.. a the group is THERE. I don’t have to do this alone, I guess I’m holding back on that part.. I don’t consistently reach back out when I get checked on.

#8

Get a sponsor that you click with and that holds you accountable. That has made such a big difference for me. The group is where it's at. You can't say anything they haven't heard/felt/done before. Reach out often. And be there when other people reach out. It feels great to help someone else, even in the smallest of ways.