Went 29 days sober after a 4 day detox stay

Recovery
#1

Went 29 days sober after a 4 day detox stay and on day 30 ruined it. Haven’t bounced back the same since. I don’t understand what’s wrong with me. How can I be so motivated for almost a month and then just trash it all. I should have gone to AA. I LOVE AA and kept saying I was gonna go back but didn’t. I did start therapy. I just feel helpless. I need that zeal that revamp. I just can’t seem to find it on myself. I get into Ruts. I can’t keep killin myself but here I am. Betraying and hurting and paining people I love. God save me.

More flowers my fiancé got me

3024×4032 804 KB

2 Likes
#2

Looks like you have people who care! Find the motivation too make it through the day. One day at a time, focus only on that one day. Slow down, be kind to yourself.

Keep your head up!

#3

Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are human. The fact that you know you need help, have owned it and have reached out already is awesome. It’s obvious your beau is supportive. It’s a do over. Start again. Get to a meeting, call your sponsor if you have one. It’s a stumble, not a cliff dive yet. You got this I believe in you!

#4

This disease can be extremely frustrating. Speaking for me, I need to practice a program of sobriety on a daily basis. I learned this from AA. I need to be mindful and honest about how I feel on a daily basis. I do this by doing my morning rituals, going to meetings, and communicating with my sober friends and sponsor. I find that if I stray too far from this program for too long, I start to lose my spiritual fitness and connection. I’ve had to learn the hard way, that without this daily program, I become irritable, restless, and discontent with my life. I begin to resent my life, and the need to “escape” becomes very appealing. At this point in your life you haven’t lost everything. Take the relapse as an opportunity to learn what works and what doesn’t work for you. You are fortunate that you like AA. It’s easily accessible and free. You can do this