Went back to my ways after 7 months AF. My husband drank through it all, had fun on the front porch with friends. Like I don’t matter after almost 25 years of marriage. Im struggling now bc I don’t even know if I like him anymore. I’ll always love him. Just stuck in a place of depression and just freaking lost.
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I can relate, I’m struggling with that too
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After 7 months you know what great things you’re capable of doing, and at the end of the day only you know what you truly need to keep yourself happy and healthy. Tough decisions might have to be made but keep in mind your own best intentions and how far you’ve made it and who you’ve become because of that strong decision you made to be af.
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People's drinking and using habits really have very little to do with us. If someone can't get rid of alcohol use to support their spouse, that's more of a representation of their relationship with alcohol. Does that make sense? I feel like I was in this prison of assuming my husband's drug use said something about how he felt about me. 7 years later, after divorce and quite a bit of time in the rooms... I have a different perspective now that I'm not in the middle of the storm. Have you asked him to give up drinking to support you? Are there boundaries you guys can set with each other so that you can feel supported?
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Our life and relationship was based on love, drinking and having fun. We don’t have a relationship outside of that and it’s really sad to me now. I’ve lost all feelings, for everything except my kids and dog of course. They love you the most. I get what you’re saying. Just don’t know what to do. 25 years is a hard thing to throw away but he’s been gaslighting me for years and I’m smart enough to realize it now.
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It’s no fun. Very hard to navigate from here. I’m sorry you’re struggling with the same situation. It just sucks
Yes it does suck, just living day to day. I just want to feel again. But I gotta keep moving forward, and somehow I make it to the next day.
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I think talking to someone that can relate helps
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Here to talk if you want to
I agree. Makes me not feel so alone
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I agree totally
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Message me anytime
Messaged you
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I relate too Mindy…I love my wife, but I don’t see us having a future. Acceptance is liberating but can also be sad. 10m here since I stopped drinking myself to death.
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He’s stuck in his own disease.
Outgrowing someone is ok, for your own survival and peace.
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I've never understood how people can say they don't like a person but they love them? How is that possible????
It seems to me that if you take out the drinking... you still got Love and Having fun... not a couple of bad things to build on... but it sounds like the love and the fun may have been dependent (or codependent if you will) on your drinking...
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My heart goes out to you. I know we can recover, thanks for sharing.
I suggest trying the NewForm app! It has helped me so much in my recovery journey (on Memorial Day I’ll have 18 months)! NewForm hosts a virtual Sober Moms meeting and maybe if you were able to tell your story there, there will be other mothers that are or have been in your situation and can help you. And if not at least you have a safe space where you can vent. The opposite of addiction is connection!
Hi Mindy
My situation was different. She gave me the boot, so I went into the rooms thinking she’d take me back. Recovery wasn’t easy at first, but with a persistent attempt, a sponsor, home group and determination to get what they had, I put God in the crosshairs and steps as the way. I was no longer lost. I had direction and purpose. They will either join us on the road to recovery or they will fall by the wayside! Not my call, it’s theirs. It works!!!
Stay focused, the promises do come true.