Went for a big bender after 40 days without. Haven’t

Recovery
#1

Went for a big bender after 40 days without. Haven’t had drink in nearly 24 hrs. Wife gets back tonight. I’m so shaky. Just don’t know why I do this to myself.

#2

Maybe ask yourself what you were feeling before you picked up the bottle. Was there a small voice warning you not to?

#3

Matthew. I went through the same thing. Had one last drink last night

#4

But I was sober for 35 days prior. Worked hard at it and felt great then on day during the week all that work went out the door when I started drinking and using again. It sucks but I am determined to start sobriety all over again today. Is my Day 1. Let’s do it together

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#5

Pick yourself up. Before, any time I failed, I kept drinking. Now I realize it's not all black and white. It's a journey. Keep going!

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#6

Thanks all. Feeling a bit better. I can’t play with my sobriety anymore. The guilt is crazy.

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#7

Day one. I will not drink today.

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#8

I have been depressed for quite a while. And I drink as an escape. I really need to embrace help. I do believe I need to seek professional help.

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#9

If you believe this, I hope you get professional help. I have been in counseling off and on for 11 years. There is no shame in getting professional help!

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#10

Thanks Ann

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#11

Counseling does help for sure

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#12

Matthew. I have tried a couple of different therapists via outpatient. A psychiatrist put me on Lexapro which did not seem to help much, my own experience. I do not qualify for inpatient. I made many calls. I do not qualify and a couple of places of course are all about getting their money, receiving profits. My point? It is fantastic that you are open to receiving help. I have relapsed beyond a few times ( and after solid periods of sobriety, shy of two years-etc. )-I have been doing well for close to one month now. You showed up and you and everyone here is capable. I will not drink with you, y’all this evening. Matthew. I can relate with drinking due to depression, anxiety - as others can, as well. Such a vicious cycle. Alcohol makes it all suck more. Wish you well. Congratulations on Day One.

#13

Thank you for the kind words Sarim. A lot of wisdom there. All of this discussion and understanding is quite comforting. Thanks to all.

#15

Thanks Ellis, for reaching out. You Bring up some great points. Some hard truths. Definitely helps.