Went to my first AA meeting today. Just wanted to find out what all the rave is about haha. I even introduced myself as an alcoholic and shared a little bit. But I felt fake, almost like an imposter. It was a beginners meeting, and all the ‘veterans’ around insisted in one form or another that AA is the only way to stay sober. I believe people genuinely tried to be supportive, and it was an interesting experience. But I’m not sure if AA is for me, it’s just too cookie cutter imo.
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It can be intimidating
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I was looking into a sailboat back when I was drinking. Just kept thinking don't do a Natalie Wood.
Lmk if you find another way. I tried everything know to man to get sober and I couldn't. AA saved my life.
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You sound like ME! For so long but this app helped me to start understanding. I attended my first small AA meeting tonight only bc I was ready. I’m veeerrryyy stubborn and allow my anxiety/addiction to talk me out of it. It was an amazing decision and I hope you can see the light I have. I am not a vet or even a novice but I have come a long way in my thinking/feelings and I’d be happy to share if you want to friend request me and we can chat 
We are all here for a reason, remember that 
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Hey! First, I’m glad you at least tried a meeting. Recovery options have changed over the years, and I’m not sure the AA veterans have gotten the memo. Having been introduced to AA back in 1989, I can understand where they are coming from. AA truly was the last and only door on the block. Now that I’m back for round #2, I’ve been exposed to other options that are having some positive results. Many of the veterans haven’t been exposed to any of this. They’ve only seen so much suffering from those that have not followed their path. I have met many opened minded people this time around. As for those who praise AA, and literally speak of it as one of the worlds greatest gifts, I understand where they are coming from. They were once hopeless drunks, close to death, with broken families and so much misery. Now they are happy, joyous and free. Over the years they have seen countless miracles. Many have walked into the rooms of AA with nothing, and have made miraculous changes in their lives. I know because I’m one of them. It’s hard for me not to have strong biases for AA. It’s helped me get my life back. Maybe another program would’ve done the same, but regardless I’m so grateful for AA and sing it’s praises. I just happen to have had the opportunity to be educated on other paths. Not sure I’m making any sense lol. I guess what I’m saying is I agree with you regarding some veterans insisting it’s their way or no way, but it’s only because of their experiences. I think they mean well. They know AA does work, and they want to help. Sounds like you have found something that is working well for you. May you continue to be successful in your recovery. AA is always an option if needed.
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Try NA now. Sometimes you gotta fake it to make it as they say. The more you go the less fake it becomes. We all feel that way starting out. Well, maybe not all, yet a lot do. It’s normal. Don’t quit before the miracle happens. Become that miracle. There are other programs you can try also. Yet, those 12 step programs do work. Good luck.
Thank you for your honesty. It’s important to find what works for you, but in doing so, it’s important to give to the arena. If you worked your first job, and it was awkward and didn’t live up to your expectations, would you say,” I don’t think this working thing is for me.” Lol!!! It’s takes finding a couple jobs, to find out what you want in a work environment, co-workers, company policies, etc. Look at AA the same way. The more you go, you will find a program and people that mesh with you. Hang in there. There is something very special about being around like minded people who have been where you are and are currently where you are trying to go. Keep coming back, it’s works when you work it.
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Judging based on one on line meeting is not very fair. If you can understand the entire program in one meeting, you are indeed unique. Results occur over time. Each meeting is a little different. Success in the program requires open mindedness. Make no mistake. If done thoroughly, the program is extremely effective.
You wouldn’t make one trip to the gym and expect to be fit.
Recovery isn’t a spectator sport.
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It’s funny, when I got out of that meeting I really wanted a drink more badly than ever since I started with sobriety lol. What works for me so far is reading books and blogs about sobriety every day, and journaling. Listening to podcasts and this app help too, and eating well and meditation practices are key.
Once we have placed the key of willingness in the lock and have the door ever so slightly open, we find that we can always open it some more.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 35
I tried a few AA meetings and felt like a fake also. Because I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a drug addict. NA is my tribe, even though I admire AA for various reasons. So in NA I belong. Regardless, the key to these fellowships is that “the therapeutic value of one addict helping another is without parallel”. ‘Normies’ do not understand us. And the 12 Steps are cookie cutter, although our own work on each one is unique to our individuality. The 12 Steps - in any fellowship - has helped millions of people to heal and recover. For some of us, our ‘terminal uniqueness’ is a key part of our problem. For many, our disease tells us that meetings and Stepwork is not for us, because the disease wants us to stay sick.
The comments above by others are really good. There are other spiritual paths other than 12 Step programs. There are “different degrees of sickness, and different rates of recovery”. But in my opinion, if you’re really sick - like I was, a fiend who couldn’t stop - fully-committing to a 12 Step program was the only way that I could recover.
Nadja, check out womenforsobriety.org and its 13 acceptance statements. This may be in line with the other tools you are using. Best of luck!
I was super resistant to try aa - and I’m not 100% sure it’s the only way - I do a lot of reading about chemical basis for addiction - but I found a good group I click with ( it took a few different meetings) - try a few different meetings - get a phone number from a willing sponsor and chat off line. It’s working for me…. Best to you.
Yeah I get your drift, I just don’t like being told that AA is the only job in town. It’s almost like they say the only option to cut dependence from alcohol is to become dependent on AA. I know they are not supposed to be religious, but the undertones are very strong. I’d have to perform too many translations in my head to make that work for my type of spirituality I fear. That said, I’m open to trying other groups or locations in the future, if my current toolbox stops working.
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I would say this..If your alcohol use (or misuse) isn’t baffling to you, AA is probably not for you. Once it starts baffling you, it is my opinion that your success potential goes down substantially if you choose not to work a 12 step AA based program.
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You are right I guess. Once I truly understood that alcohol doesn’t just produce blackouts and hangovers but also changes brain chemistry long term (dopamine pathways, rebound effects, and such) it was easy to let it go. It’s still hard to not get influenced by the constant booze bombardment in our society. That’s why I find that keep reading about sobriety is so crucial to ‘neutralize’ the daily mass illusion.
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It isn’t fir everyone but I really hope you try a different meeting or two. The o my requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. People will try to tell you otherwise but I held onto that and somehow just being in the rooms kept me sober at least 1 more day.
Of course! I’ll keep an open mind and do just that, if I feel myself starting to struggle. Yesterday I went out of curiosity, not desperation. I tried to explain that, but looking back I think everyone treated me like I was desperate. Understandably so I guess. Maybe that’s what made the whole thing so awkward.
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Hi Nadja! It’s great that you tried something different! Being open minded and willing to try something new is definitely important in sobriety. But there are countless other programs and meeting formats for those of us that AA just isn’t quite the fit. I suggest checking out some of these programs in your pursuit for something that supports your recovery in the way that you need: The Luckiest Club, Tempest, SMART Recovery, Recovery Dharma, Refuge Recovery, The Sober Faction, Celebrate Recovery. For me, what works is an incorporation of different things from all different programs. There are countless ways to stay sober, it’s just a matter of finding what works for you.
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