What am I even doing?

Recovery
#1

I have been hesitant to post bc I don’t want to bring a negative vide to this space. I am so proud of everyone doing great even more so with the ones that have relapsed and got back on track.

Addiction has run in my family for generations, especially alcohol abuse. I have always questioned my relationship with alcohol is unsafe/unhealthy because it has never been catastrophic. But I recognize if it took decades for me to attempt to eliminate it from my life, it must have a hold on me that is unhealthy. I am 15 days alcohol free. I am not sure where I am going with this. At first, I told myself to take a 2 week break and see if I could do it. That “break” ended on 7/14. I chose to continue. But I’m not sure why! The cravings are virtually gone compared to the 1st week but don’t feel any better… at all. If anything, I am edgy and frustrated. Not to the point where I feel alcohol will make me feel better. But I don’t know what will make me feel better. I’m just so angry and I’m not sure at what or who… most likely myself.

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#2

Welcome

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#3

Thanks for sharing this. Try some good exercise, and just wait until another week goes by. I bet you'll feel great!

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#4

Congratulations on early recovery. I myself am back from a relapse. March 26 was the last day I drank. I started going to meetings, got a sponsor and am working the steps of AA. Zoom is also a great tool if you can't physically get to a meeting. These things are often suggested to the new comer and might help you feel less agitation. Good job speaking up. Keep it up.

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