What are your thoughts on the importance of changing our behaviors that we developed in our active addiction after we get some sobriety time? My story is that after I had a few months sober, I realized that my behaviors actually caused as much chaos in my life as my drinking. I had no idea how to act, communicate, think positive thoughts, let alone “feel”. I had no idea how to have fun sober. It was a lot of work for me to get mentally healthy after the booze was gone, it provided peace, nearly wiped out depression and anxiety. In retrospect, I think I would have had less of a shot at lengthy sobriety if I didn’t deal with behaviors.
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Oh yeah Brian! I’d be a goner if I didn’t work on changing my ways…thinking and behaviors. That’s where a daily program of living comes in handy.
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I agree, I had no skills at all!! It was a simple way for me to change what was going to eventually bring me down.
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The absence of alcohol forced me to feel. At first, I did not like it as they were all over the place. Now, I sort of coexist with them. My therapist would refer to them as my council. I simply sit with them rather than choose to drown in them
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Mental health is very important. It sounds like you may not be dealing with your emotional maturity level. We all including me stop emotionally maturing during our active addiction. So write down your shortcomings. Embrace them. Decide how you can grow out of some old learned behaviors. I find taking a beat before reacting or responding has saved me many times from going into an emotional outburst. It’s hard but worth it. Staying quiet says way more than saying something stupid. I’ve been there done that.
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Good to know you powered through all that. Exactly what I’m trying to work on now.. 8 months in its getting a bit easier.. but I’m learning how to do everything without alcohol and I’m very not used to it. Really hoping I kick the anxiety and fear of facing the world without booze
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That’s exactly where I was at 8 months 
I felt like I was always trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. I chose the 12 steps to work through my challenges and it took a while but was worth it. Now I’m currently allowing more emotional awareness and healing to happen, it’s a journey. I’m enjoying the ride!
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H E:ice_hockey:
yea!! It’s a spiritual journey for sure
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Hey Brian: In spite of active addiction I had some outward signs of success: the high profile job, the address, the car, the beautiful looking girlfriend, etc. But I did NOT know how to live. If we don't change we'll die. "Jails, institutions, death."
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Yup me too, success all around for me but had really stinkin thinkin
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Right? I have a fraction of what I used to have but am much happier and fulfilled. I love the serenity. It's real, y'all!
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Brian, I’m reminded by my sponsor that “sobriety is not enough” meaning, after I put the plug in the jug there is still work to do moving through the steps. Also, it’s clear to me that my disease is indeed centered in the mind.
So I needed to work the steps and practice the principles. By doing that I have developed a manner of living.
It is working part of my mind and allows me to interact with others in a civil manner and react sanely.
It’s definitely not enough for me, I’m working with people that are sober but hold on like crazy, thinking the behaviors are still serving then. At the same time struggle to stay sober and win at the game of life. I used the steps to face the realities of those MANY issues with myself. Still got some too
It’s good to differentiate as well by asking.
Is this my disease/alcoholic thinking? Or is it just part of being human.
The steps help pin it down.
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Great point
That’s just wonderful to hear Matt. I think you’re answering your own question and nothing could be a better testament to the program!
Good work!