What do you guys think about this advice I found in the app called SoberTool? The last line is what really got me. As a survivor of rape, I found it shocking to read. I’m having a hard time using this productively.
I’m having a hard time altogether
(Must click on image to see the last line)
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Ughh. Using the word rape in this context doesn’t work well for me. I get what they are trying to say, but that word is so powerful. I just think it’s too much and is in bad taste. While it may be a good and impactful way for some to understand how harmful alcohol is, I believe the comparison will repulse many others. I hope you don’t let this deter you from moving forward. I’ve been in and around recovery for many years. If there’s one thing I learned, it’s to take what you find helpful, and leave the rest. There is no one way or only way. What one person finds as trash, another may find as a treasure. It’s possible that someone will read that same passage and find it very helpful. However, I’m with you 100% on this one
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I’m in total agreement with Lee about the misuse of the word rape. And I disagree that using is like physical and mental abuse. Rapists and abusers — why and what they do — have zero in common with having an addiction to substances.
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As a victim of sexual assault as a child, a rape victim, and living with an alcoholic abusive parent- I don't believe this was an attack on rape victims.
In fact, I'm glad it was said. It needs to be said. People often become abusive when they use/drink. A conversation that I really don't see on sobriety tools- and this conversation needs to happen.
My brothers, mom, and I went without food for days on several occasions because my dad didn't want to spend his money on feeding us. My mom paid all the bills on her own and fail on hard times. My dad didn't care. My mom took us to Six Flags with her own money. My dad accused her of spoiling us- and turned off the cable to retaliate.
Kids would visit and my dad would feed them- and not us.
I remember every time my dad physically abused my brother and my mom. My brother would make mistakes- and I would tell my dad I did them because I would rather have a belt to my behind than have my brother chocked.
These examples and others are what this is talking about- not making light of rape victims.
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That’s horrible. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I could see how this would make more sense to someone who associates drugs or alcohol with violence/neglect/abuse, but many addicts aren’t abusive. It literally states that using is violent and doesn’t state that this is for abusive situations specifically and the very last line says not to drink if you don’t want to be a rapist
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(ran out of space)
so I’m just saying, for this to be general advice to addicts, seemed very misplaced.
Also what happens if someone relapses? We were a rapist? We were violent?
There is a place for this conversation, but I don’t want to call myself a rapist.
But I did post this to see if there was something I was missing, so thank you for your perspective. I hope you are in a safe place now
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No, everyone who uses and/drinks isn't a rapist or commits violent acts or other forms of abuse. I understood this post to say it can and it does happen- and that may be the wake up call someone needs to stop using/drinking.
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I see the last line now. I interpreted as- it's a possibility. I hope the intention isn't to call those who/drink a rapist. Yikes!
I took the meaning of the post to be the violence we do to ourselves when we use is tantamount to being a rapist of another person. However, I think the wording would be much better served with a little forethought to the explanation of their meaning.
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Yeah, I agree rapist is a bit much.
Agree with all of you. In general I think the word rape throws the whole thing off. It’s a word that hits a lot of people in a really bad way.
I rolled my eyes when I hit the second sentence. That post is a crock of 
if you ask me. Wow. I’d be perfectly OK with never reading it again.
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For real. At first I thought I understood what the writer was saying. Now the more I read it- the madder I get.
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Agree this is inappropriate. We can recognize the negative impacts of addiction and alcohol without equating it to rape…which is completely different.
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Short answer. Way out of line.
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Guilt and Self Shaming is not recovery and not congruent with self healing. I don’t buy into that