What if you’re the user or drinker that wants to change their relationship to alcohol and use. But is not the description of the alcoholic in the Big Book? I love the spiritual aspect of AA, and are experiencing great and real change. But I also feel like I don’t quite meet the standards addressed in meetings or readings?? Anyone else in my place too?
Hi Jack, there is a wide variety of types of drinking. The only question you need to ask yourself is if alcohol is serving you or if you are satisfied with your relationship with alcohol.
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Hey Jack! I’m not where you are, but I’m open to the fact that there may be other options for recovery, and that not everyone with a drinking problem is an alcoholic. You wrote that you want to change your relationship with alcohol. Just to be clear…are you talking about drinking in moderation (controlled drinking) vs abstinence? If so, then I would think AA may not be a great fit for you, because AA states that the only requirement is a desire to quit drinking. I have heard of other programs that typically include a daily mental health regimen and spiritual proponent to address addiction issues. Again, I’m not a fan of them for those that have crossed over the line, but if one is truly not ready or willing to try a program of abstinence, this may be a good place to start. I have a 22 year old that has had some issues. He’s nowhere near wanting to quit drinking. I wouldn’t mind if he tried to “change his relationship with alcohol”. If he finds he’s still having issues, there’s always AA.
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If you want to keep drinking, AA is not going to be the program for you.
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Hey, no one can tell you you are an alcoholic/ addict. That’s for you to decide. It can look different for everyone but at the end of the day it’s about whether or not the substance is causing problems in your life and you are unable to stop regardless of those problems. Now as far as changing your relationship with Alcohol I can only
Speak from my own experience. I believe I could handle drinking “normally” once I stopped using drugs. I was sober for about 10 months prior to my relapse. But alcohol became a replacement for the drugs and in a matter of 8 months I was physically dependent on alcohol and back on drugs. I did this despite substance related legal problems and health problems and realized it’s all or nothing in my case. I can’t handle alcohol in any aspect with or without the use of drugs. I’m almost 3 months clean and sober and have never been more stable or happy in my life. Just my experience.
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Hi Jack - if you don’t feel like you fit in AA, maybe you’d be better suited for NA. In NA, alcohol has no special distinction - it’s just another mood altering substance. They endorse abstinence from all substances. Based on AA, it is also spiritual in nature - the big differences being: hugs instead of handshakes, “clean” instead of “sober”, and no Lord’s Prayer to close a meeting (stressing spiritual instead of religious). But either program is going to stress abstinence.
Hi, Jack!
This is the problem I see w alcohol, bc it’s legal and socially acceptable if not strongly encouraged. There are people that can handle moderation and there are those that can’t. I kind of believe those that can moderate are on a slippery slope. They just may not have gotten there yet, but there is a risk. Think of it this way, if alcohol were a poison like arsenic for instance would anyone say there is a healthy level to consume it? Would anyone recommend a daily dose of heroine? This sounds extreme but it makes sense, tho. Alcohol is poison and it is addictive. But yet it’s advertised as fun and glamorous.
I tried moderation many many many times. I tried to find every way in the world to not actually quit. I don’t get too hung up on the “alcoholic” term. Maybe I am maybe I’m not. What I know for certain is for me alcohol is not healthy physically mentally emotionally or any other way in any amount. I admit that fully.
Just my opinions. Food for thought. I’m glad ur making positive changes. Keep up the good work!
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Hi, Jack. Annie Grace and Dr. Adi Jaffe are two individuals who you might find interesting. If you check out their sites, their work-I will be curious to know what you think. All the best.
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Excellent suggestions! I was listening to Annie Grace one day, and heard Dr. Jaffe guest speak on her podcast. I’ve been hooked on him the past few months.
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SoberinSoFlo Lee, yes! I have seen that interview, yep…interesting conversations taking place, for sure. When I started my sincere attempt(s) to become sober in 2014, there were not this many avenues of support as there are now. It’s all blown up in the best of possible ways resource, support-wise. Dang, y’all. We are fortunate to have this many resources at our literal fingertips. SoberinSoFlo, I just realized I typed “ saw “ that interview. I believe she did a second interview with Dr. Jaffe:).
If one is all ways not enough.and you can’t stop.like me .I would have a problem .aa🐪
There is a group called Moderation Management that you can Google, if you don’t think that alcohol controls your life, but you just want a change. Of course most alcoholics have probably tried some form of this before surrendering to complete abstinence.