What is everyone’s opinion on sponsoring someone of the opposite gender? I asked my sponsor and he said it was a bad idea, for him. I’ve only been sober a few months, but I like to be prepared for the future. I know it’s an old AA tradition, but is it just because it was a different time when the Big Book was written? Or is there a lot of experience showing it’s a failure move?
Whatever works for you. Works for you.
There’s nothing written in stone about who needs to be your sponsor, and I’ve heard gents who have had women sponsors previously.
Personally, I think same gender (or what you most closely identify with) sponsorship works best.
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Personally I think it is a bad idea. More so because you don’t know what it is like to be a woman. And they don’t know what it’s like to be a man. We all have a lot of the same things going on but there is so much more men just could never relate to that women go though. Same with gay, or trans. Not to say that sponsorship isn’t possible, but if alcohol is the only relatable thing y’all have, it just seems to me it would be much more difficult. Be there for them, be their friend, be an open ear, but especially early sobriety it is hard enough for people, throwing extra stuff on top of it is not a great idea. Just my two cents.
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I personally think it’s a bad idea too. There are far too many stories (just google it) of younger woman being manipulated by ‘sponsors’.
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Honestly I don’t even agree with idea of sponsors. They have no medical/psychiatric/recovery education but give out advice on all.
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Honestly, I see it as dangerous. It is kinda like the issue people have with transferring feelings for a therapist. Your sponsor becomes intimately familiar with your sobriety, and it would be all to easy to mistake that for romantic feelings.
Bad idea
Woman to woman/men to men.safer.