Days like today I can’t explain. It usually happens when I’m home from work. I start craving stimulants. My problem is I’ve quit everything. I’ve quit booze, cigarettes, I can’t drink caffeine anymore because of a heart problem (Afib). I quit chocolate because my blood sugar was high on my last CBC. I avoid any opiates and tough out my arthritis and back issues with Tylenol because I know I’ll abuse pain meds. I’m climbing the walls. I blast music to get me out of the mood, but even that’s not working. I’m doing vigorous housework to get my mind off it. I want to use so bad right now. I need an escape valve…..
I totally get it. Just wanting to change the way you feel - anything other than THIS. Keep up the great work and know that five minutes from now will feel different. I also get out and power walk to get the blood pumping, music loud; and be the ruler of the feelings not the other way around. “I am happy” period. The power of persuasion often kicks in and then I really do feel happy!
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An altered reality is what we seek and crave.