I relasped so instead of jumping back on the wagon i just go with it , while the entire time im telling myself , dont do this . I swear i just want to make myself go away . I cant keep doing this to myself , i mean , what? I look at my self in the mirror , all i see is a lifelong junkie . And i wonder will i ever get this under control ? Why would i stop for months and all sudden bam im right back where i started again , and again , wanting to jump off a cliff. 🤏🏻 to giving up on myself . I need jesus .
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One day at a time
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Thank you , I sometimes just feel so stupid like embarrassed. So embarrassed.
Sounds like you were born with the same self sabotage gene I was born with. I am my own worst enemy. Regardless of how many second chances and opportunities to start a new path, I always eventually ended up in the same dark hole. The only solution for me has been a daily 12 step program of recovery. I even failed at that lol. However, this time around I’ve got 3 years and 11 months. I think it could change your life too. Go for it
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When I relapsed 13 soberity little bit of a couple years trying to function alcoholic I kept reminding myself of 12 steps and traditions made sober up 5 months now
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2nd guessing when I was active drinking I quit drinking to stop was! Driving me nuts 5 months sober
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Hallucinations and blacking out!! Scary!! Another reason I had to stop and my health
Oh yeah and so on!!!!
Jesus worked for me fr. My relationship with Him had grown and blossomed and changed my life! I have 5 1/2 months and am so grateful 
you can have all that and more! You're worth it!
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I had that attitude also when I relapsed - well I messed up, I might as well do it up good - then I would end up back at square one - eventually, the relapses got shorter and fewer and far between - it will happen for you and you’ll just stop 
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Been there. You are not alone. Try not to beat yourself up. Never give up. You will get there.
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That’s awesome . I look forward to it.
Don't be embarrassed I relapsed over and over all my life and I wanted to end it all so many times. I blamed God and everything else in my life for my drug addiction.Then one day I became so sick from using drugs and not feeling all the symptoms I had because of the drug use I fell into a coma for three months. I even blamed God and asked him when he was going to stop punishing me
I don't know when I saw the light and it doesn't matter but I finally realized that every bad thing that has happened to me throughout my life I have done to myself. Then I realized God gave me the gift of life. Ever since that moment I have been working the 12 steps with a sponsor and playing to my higher power and thanking him for everything instead of the blaming.Life is so much better now.I'm 7 months clean after 14 trys at treatment over 40 years of drug abuse.I f I can do it ,hang in there and remember God will always walk with you good and bad.good luck.
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Kasey, I’ve been where you’re at too many times! But don’t trip too hard, there is a solution. It’s the easier softer way.
I finally made my sobriety my number one priority in life. Over finance, romance and even family. I went to morning and evening meetings daily. Got a sponsor, stayed working on the 12 steps, and got stronger than my addiction. 16+ years sober.
You can do this!!! Keep it simple and just do it.
I’m here if you want to talk.
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Thank you guys so much I really appreciate it and I really needed the support !
What inspiring words! It really does happen just like that too right? Not sure when it happened but IT DID. It does happen for us, and man is it ever beautiful. God bless
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Hi Kasey.....get fighting...this is a marathon not a rat race....keep going strong sis...
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Hey hon, I’m sorry but relapsing is part of being in recovery. It’s learning your triggers. It’s learning how to deal with your triggers. It’s hard. It’s gonna be hard. The first two years are the worst but remember every mistake is a learning lesson learned from your mistakes, you’re still making forward steps maybe not as big as you want them to be but you’re still making forward steps. I hope you find your peace. You deserve it if you need anything you can always message some of us. We’re always here.
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You're not alone. Thank you for sharing this, we can recover. I need Jesus as well, and am thankful for the healing He provides. Now to stop poisoning myself.
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Thank u , all of u . Melissa , I really appreciate ur kind words . My date is Tuesday of this week . I have to pick a day so I don’t get overwhelmed.