What keeps us sober? Is it that we're court mandated, are family's, we do it for ourselves, or are we just such good talkers we put on a front to keep are mind feeling good about ourselves? Do we actually lose that self centerness?
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What keeps me from relapsing is I don’t have time to lose myself again I have four kids that are depending on me and I have a recovering family that’s looking up to me I don’t have time to go backwards I have to move forward
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I think whatever it takes you to get there is irrelevant. At the beginning I wasn’t doing it for myself, it was to gain something I didn’t want to lose. Or so I told myself. The more time that passes I realized I was just tired of living a miserable existence that I let nobody else see. Once I came to terms with that and accepted help (not court ordered in my situation) it opened the door. I stopped running and faced life for all it is. The good, the bad, the ugly. I don’t need to drink to handle living anymore.
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For me, it’s to heal. I have been so internally miserable for so long and no one deserves that self-inflicted pain. I want to enjoy things and the only way I believed I was able to do that for so long was through alcohol. That’s the disease. And if I am able to heal, I know that I will be able to make healthier decisions and be more present in my relationships. I know I am a good dad, but more importantly, I want to raise a daughter who doesn’t suffer the way I have because I wasn’t allowed to feel my emotions and acknowledge them in a healthy way to grow and learn in my youth. I’m trying to learn that now but it’s slow… and that’s ok
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For me, I has a deer in the headlight moment. I saw my life beginning to spiral and if I didn’t make a change I was not only going to ruin my own life but my family’s as well. I did in fact lose the self centerness for the most part. There are small remnants of it hanging around. And now… I truly do feel better on all aspects. It’s not a front or lie I have to tell myself or a front I put out to everyone else. Life is easier sober.
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I want to be sober from alcohol. I love being mindful and present. But I’m an addict, so where there’s one addiction, there’s many: for me, it’s co-dependency, love, sugar, and anger.
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I agree with Rhea, I do not believe I am a good mother while using and I worked my tush off to be the mom I am today
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Food and shopping. I have to keep close lookout for these sideways behaviors 
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I actually want to be sober because I hated myself drinking. So self-centered that I couldn’t even recognize it. No hope, no dreams for the future, simply trying to stay above water. I had to endure each 24 hours ahead of me. It was awful. So profoundly different today. Still pretty self concerned but am willing to change. Great topic
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In the beginning of my recovery I’m not gonna lie it was my kids but now one year in it it’s myself
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