What keeps us sober? Is it that we're court mandated, are family's, we do it for ourselves, or are we just such good talkers we put on a front to keep are mind feeling good about ourselves? Do we actually lose that self centerness?
What keeps me from relapsing is I don’t have time to lose myself again I have four kids that are depending on me and I have a recovering family that’s looking up to me I don’t have time to go backwards I have to move forward
I think whatever it takes you to get there is irrelevant. At the beginning I wasn’t doing it for myself, it was to gain something I didn’t want to lose. Or so I told myself. The more time that passes I realized I was just tired of living a miserable existence that I let nobody else see. Once I came to terms with that and accepted help (not court ordered in my situation) it opened the door. I stopped running and faced life for all it is. The good, the bad, the ugly. I don’t need to drink to handle living anymore.
For me, it’s to heal. I have been so internally miserable for so long and no one deserves that self-inflicted pain. I want to enjoy things and the only way I believed I was able to do that for so long was through alcohol. That’s the disease. And if I am able to heal, I know that I will be able to make healthier decisions and be more present in my relationships. I know I am a good dad, but more importantly, I want to raise a daughter who doesn’t suffer the way I have because I wasn’t allowed to feel my emotions and acknowledge them in a healthy way to grow and learn in my youth. I’m trying to learn that now but it’s slow… and that’s ok
For me, I has a deer in the headlight moment. I saw my life beginning to spiral and if I didn’t make a change I was not only going to ruin my own life but my family’s as well. I did in fact lose the self centerness for the most part. There are small remnants of it hanging around. And now… I truly do feel better on all aspects. It’s not a front or lie I have to tell myself or a front I put out to everyone else. Life is easier sober.
I want to be sober from alcohol. I love being mindful and present. But I’m an addict, so where there’s one addiction, there’s many: for me, it’s co-dependency, love, sugar, and anger.
I agree with Rhea, I do not believe I am a good mother while using and I worked my tush off to be the mom I am today
Food and shopping. I have to keep close lookout for these sideways behaviors 
I actually want to be sober because I hated myself drinking. So self-centered that I couldn’t even recognize it. No hope, no dreams for the future, simply trying to stay above water. I had to endure each 24 hours ahead of me. It was awful. So profoundly different today. Still pretty self concerned but am willing to change. Great topic
In the beginning of my recovery I’m not gonna lie it was my kids but now one year in it it’s myself