Hello Kayla! Things will get better!! My alcohol use destroyed my life. Now after 2 years my life is changing and the craving for alcohol is almost non existent. I live in Belle Plaine Iowa even though my profile says Illinois. I am in chicago right now but heading back now. I manage properties and have 2 in Newton. If you ever need someone to talk to please reach out. I am always willing to lend an ear.
Go to a meeting, call your sponsor & call other people In Recovery……. I was 6 months sober, thought I wasn’t an alcoholic/addict, I’ve been relapsing for 2.5 years and I find myself back in the rooms, my life became unmanageable again, imagine that 
a lady said to me the other day, “normal people/drinkers don’t question whether or not they have a drinking problem 
”. It really resonated with me, I’ve always questioned it. My advice, go back to step 1, reread your reasons/ways your life was unmanageable & list more ways. Remember you got sober for a reason….I should’ve went back to step 1 vs relapsing , don’t do it you’ll end up where I am again
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HI Kayla.. Tuff decision..I feel you and been thru that .. but its better you don't drink at all.. Go to meetings or chat with with someone who's sober. Just take it one day at a time. BUT WE'RE Here for you..we got each others back..
Nothing compares to being sober and clear minded. You got this!!!
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If you want to chat, I'm here for you
Kayla
You only have 20 days. For someone getting started in sobriety 20 days is a long, long time. I definitely get that. But as far as feeling a calm peace overtime from not drinking, it's not that long. It's going to take some time to feel normal.
What I suggest you do in the meantime is try to play the scene all the way forward. Suppose you give in to cravings and you pick up a drink anyway. What's going to happen? You might feel good for a little while but when the whole drinking Fiasco is over with you're going to be right back where you are at, at this moment, wanting to pick up a drink and you will have accomplished nothing.
We have to give sobriety time. I keep preaching to people that what has worked for thousands and thousands of people for many decades is going to AA meetings and sitting down with other alcoholics and listening to other alcoholics tell their stories and talk about alcoholism. When you do this you walk out of the rooms energized for another day and with more tools in your toolbox to stay sober. The worst thing that most people try to do on this app is do it all by themselves.
What I see more than anything is people simply don't take action outside of this app and then they relapse. They think this app is going to be a cure-all and it's not. I don't care how much advice you hear on this app or what you learn on this app it doesn't really get us very far if we don't take some sort of action outside of this app.
I highly recommend that you start going to AA meetings and get around people that are having the same problems that you have or have been where you are at at this moment. Go to 90 meetings and 90 days and after that time if you don't feel like you are an alcoholic we will refund your misery.
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Kayla
Read this.
This comes from a chapter in the Big Book of AA entitled
"The Doctor's Opinion."
When I read with a sincere desire for change, it really opened my eyes.
Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are RESTLESS, IRRITABLE and DISCONTENTED unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks—drinks which they see others taking with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his or her recovery.”
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Once you kinda convince yourself it’s poisonous which it is. It gets easier
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The conversations in your head about whether you are a drunk or what limits and rules to impose to control the bad results are LITERALLY PROOF that you are one!! Sorry but its true. NO NORMIE EVER had those thoughts.
DO necessary things in recovery (service job to make you accountsble) and do positive new things outside of recovery (new hobby, exercise, activity clubs, church). It DOES get better!
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Bargaining never worked for me. Best of luck on your journey
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It's definitely not how often you drink although that can be a factor. It's more about what happens to you when you drink. I don't advise it but if you can easily have a drink and walk away every time with ease maybe you aren't. If you cannot or do not want to stop maybe you are. No one knows but you. 
There is a sober dating feature through this app. It's the original reason I joined. They have other ones that I Googled but they don't have enough consistent users.
I’ve tried and mine doesn’t work. Guess there’s no one in my area lol
I don't label or name myself Alcoholic. My name is Frank not Jack. Are you alcoholic or are you a person who likes to drink for the wrong reasons rather than facing life on life's terms. I had to be willing to do what you are doing and that is reach out and let ourselves be vulnerable.
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AA is on the (free) Zoom app! It's worldwide and 24/7. Please talk about your thoughts and feelings to others AA's. WE are not unique. Please don't pick up.
Well said. I’ve been down the same road you mentioned. And all it takes is one drink and here we go again.
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It gets much better 
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I new right a way I was a alcoholic.got in aa at 26- now 61 years old.aa 35 years.and accept it right a way.I watch people and listen to peoples bad times.and it dose not get better.even health and trouble.the older we get goes down hill . Aa 