What’s on my mind.. alcohol. Today it’s really been bugging me and taking up my mind space. I keep going between “am I really an alcoholic, do I really need to stop” to “maybe I can just drink once a month, and only have a few.” Guess this is the bargaining stage. I just want to move past the constant nagging feeling of it. I hope everyone had a nice sober weekend 
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I can relate, I had that same conversation with myself. I found myself trying to rationalize how I would be able to control it. The reality is that I am not that good at it if the past is any indicator. Good job sticking to the path!
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It’s hard! Especially when I find myself so extremely bored. I need to find hobbies. I got a little too comfortable with the thought of drinking today. Need to reel it back in. Good job to you also!
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Idle hands are the devil's workshop. I started beekeeping to not bee so bored. I walk out to the colony a couple times and watch them for a minute.
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I get it. I relapsed right when I got out of treatment in April and have struggled since. I have 12 days today. Sad because I had 4 years and 10 months before I relapsed (full blown) at the end of January. Seeing a therapist, so hopefully she can help. This disease is fucked.
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I've been going to a ton of meetings and reading more, riding my bike alot more etc. Definitely helps.
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45 Days. I love all of you!
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I feel the same way. I have 8 months sober and it was easy to abstain while I isolated myself, but now that I'm dating and going to social gatherings again, I find myself asking these questions. I don't have a clear answer so I haven't started again but I do feel sad and like I'm missing out. I just also worry that even if I can keep it together most of the time, I know myself and I won't be able to keep it together all the time and I really hate the idea of losing control again even if for 1 night, and the idea of the unbearable hangover the next day which prevents me from living my life.
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I’ve been isolating myself as well. It’s lonely. I do zoom meetings. I’m going to be moving to a bigger city soon. So I’m hoping to do in person meetings and make some sober friends. I don’t see myself being able to go out and socialize like before. At least not for a long time.
It is fucked, been an addict in some way or another since I was 15. I’m 35 and 3 weeks into no alcohol. It’s the constant nagging in my brain that does it for me, I did hit a zoom meeting after I made this post and it did help. I’m glad you have 12 days at least. I think I’m only at like 20 days.
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I have almost 8 months too and I’m starting to entertain the idea of dating. How do you feel about it and how has it been going? I’m terrified of repeating old patterns
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For me there’s no way right now. I’m not ready for that mentally. But I’m only 3 weeks sober. Right now I feel like I wanna make sober friends and get used to the lifestyle. And meet another sober person eventually to maybe entertain the idea of dating. I’m not one of those people that could date someone that drank all the time if I didn’t. I’d end up relapsing.
I run this script in my head often. I want to drink normally but I know that I never really did. I could always lock in a few weeks of normal drinking before I needed a full bottle to ‘feel’ alive. I finally find some comfort in being alone and being sober. I don’t need to go to a meeting every day or to call someone but I try to stay busy. I have to admit I kind of love being sober which is great and I’m slowly starting to not miss alcohol as much and I’ve found surrounding myself with it (my friends) has actually helped me get over it. My friends are very supportive and if I get annoyed by them I just bug out. I know this disease is always lurking to hurt me though so I keep the thought as present as I can
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I tried sober dating but I didn't have much luck finding anyone there so I tried a mainstream dating app and those people are not sober. It was fine at first and I felt confident, but after about a month of talking to a couple people I really started liking, I started questioning whether I could drink with them or not and felt like I was missing out on fun. I have been back and fourth with AA but I'm going to try again at least to get some support with this. Try sober dating apps first if you can
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That’s true. I try to “drink responsibly” and pace myself. But it never satisfied me until I could get blackout wasted to the fullest. Then I would feel like I did what I was suppose to do.
What sober dating apps are out there? Yeah, I was recently talking to a friend of mine who I’ve been on and off again with for ten years. He binge drinks every weekend. If I hung out with him, I know I’d end up drinking. I just can’t 
plain and simple.
That’s a question only you can answer. Dig deep and be honest with yourself. What exactly are you missing out on? For me, not needing a false sense of security to exist in the world is reason enough to give up drinking. Even if I weren’t an alcoholic, the clarity I have now is something I never thought possible. If you’re early in sobriety just keep going. The urges fade and temptations become less. In the meantime change your routine. Take a different route to work, brush your teeth with the other hand, put your shoes on in a different order. Needing to retrain your brain to be open to change is a normal part of the process. Give it a shot, your old habits weren’t doing you any favors.
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Definitely need to find activities to keep you busy.. I have been there as well.. you got this just one day at a time !
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The bargaining stage! I’ve gone through that a few times, only beer or wine and in moderation. It inevitably leads to the same bottom for me. Life will happen, positive or negative and I will throw wine out the window for vodka and then comes the coke.
Once I surrendered to the idea that there are no half measures for me it becomes an active cognitive decision to not want to be that persona
Talking to others during these times is great and your honesty is a huge huge step in the right direction
Sharing vulnerabilities is a true strength
The support you earn through your honesty will help carry you through these tough days
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Hello Kayla, call it what you want. You have a problem with alcohol. You either stop it or it Will Stop You. Alcohol will Take Everything and then Kill You. You know I'm right. I recommend reading Alcohol Explained by William Porter. It's easy to read and understand what Alcohol does to keep you addicted
Gillian Tietz has a website, podcast, and YouTube. She talks first hand as she is a recovering alcoholic. She talks about how Alcohol affects us physically and emotionally. I will talk to anyone about sobriety anytime. Reach out anytime
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