What’s people’s thoughts on sober people not attending AA? I’m almost 5 years sober and counting each day 6/31/2019. I did AA meetings EVERYDAY for 6 months until Covid hit. Then I stopped. I stopped because it gave me extreme anxiety having to push myself to socialize. I have high anxiety talking to people. I was a mute as a child. One of many reasons I used to drink. I am starting to miss meetings again. Miss the fellowship and the sober friends I made.. A good step was getting this app yesterday!!
5 Likes
Personally i never felt compelled to do it. Maybe it's the Jesus talk or steps idk. I don't want other ppls problems and energy interfering with my growth. I also heard it's more combative than ppl like to admit and a sober meat market. It never interested me. However that being said I did attempt a group my court appointed therapist recommended and was open to it. Just me and a group of 6 dudes in the back of a speedway gas station lol.. they were nice but never went back.
3 Likes
I have never gone because I don’t want someone preaching to me about God
2 Likes
Thank you for replying. I’m glad I’m not the only one who get that was about it. When I went for 6 months my sponsor did help me but she would get mad at me if I talked to anyone who was not sober. It was weird to me. I did not like having to choose who I can and cannot talk to so I stopped going. I found that going on sober apps and making sober friends/ reading and relating to other peoples posts work best for me. Thank u again!!
1 Like
Yes it’s definitely not for everyone. That’s one of a few reasons I stopped
1 Like
I believe the opposite of addiction is connection. So to me joining a support group is one of the essential things of working on a program. Whether that be AA, na, CA, acoa COA, Al-Anon etc it is a place in which we can connect with others and not feel alone. I have found that if I don't like a particular meeting to just stick around for a little bit and it will probably change. There are meetings that are too God or Jesus centered for me. I personally go to meetings where the true meaning of higher power is whatever I choose it to be.
Try not to compare yourself out of a recovery meeting. See the similarities as opposed to the differences. You don't have to believe any particular thing. All that is said in recovery meetings are merely suggestions.
4 Likes
It's an individual choice.
Personally, I wasn't for me.
In order to get to the root of drinking/drugs, one must examine the root causes. Start in your childhood. Then therapy.
Strengthening my relationship with God is key.
I was berated for saying just this at various AA meetings.
Six years on June 2024.
No AA meetings, BUT this is my experience.
2 Likes
I for myself relapsed after 14 years of sobriety. One was I never really picked a regular home group. 2, had resentments on other people in the rooms because my alcoholism focused on how I believed people were throwing God on me. 3. Never fully conceded to the first step. I realized with almost 6 years of sobriety that it is a me program. What I put in is what I get back. I have still terrible fear and anxiety around people. That turning it over to something bigger than myself and that I am not lesser or better than anyone else
2 Likes
AA/NA can be good for some and beneficial. But I don’t feel they are necessarily needed to get and stay sober. Same for therapy, it helps, often more than meetings do as therapy actually gets to more of the root causes of addiction and explores much more. But it’s personal preference. I have been to a few meetings, didn’t help me one bit, felt judged by some and they were just uncomfortable for me. I’ve also lead groups in the steps as a therapist at an addictions clinic. I’ve also provided therapy and still to for addiction on an individual basis. Some people get benefit from it some don’t. Usually those who don’t get benefit are the ones who don’t put effort. Everybody’s process is going to be individual, even though our struggles may be similar. Meetings or no meetings, therapy or no therapy, finding what works is all that matters. I’ve also seen sponsors who relapse and then their sponsees are either lost or relapse as well. A lot of people on this app praise AA like it’s the only way to get sober and stay sober, I disagree with that. They can help but they aren’t the end all cure all for the struggle.
1 Like
I love meetings. I believe in God so if you don’t I understand how that would be a turnoff. I like seeing the different people affected by alcohol and drugs just know I’m not alone.
4 Likes
Do the program that works for you. Whatever keeps you happily sober.
For me the in person meetings are the most affective. After 5 years of daily meetings, I burned out but I always have sponsees and doing step work. 15+ years of happy sobriety and in step work multiple times a week.
2 Likes
So I remember the rooms are for healthy and sick people, I make my pop corn and watch them swap partners left and right but here is the thing the fellowship is 1/2 the program connection when your life falls apart bc it will sober at some point I need my home group. I love them, I couldn’t do life with out them and highly suggest having one. Also the resistance to god is normal, some days my higher power is likes there’s, some times it’s Thoth and isis it does not matter what you ask to help you, it will help you!
2 Likes
I tried to stay sober on my own. I started in AA, but drifted away after a few years. I didn’t drink or drug for 26 years. I did the last 20 of those years on my own. Looking back now, I wish I would’ve stayed connected. It gets very lonely when you don’t make sober friends and a sober life. I never created that on my own. The meetings, a sponsor, the steps, and my AA friends have made my life worth living again. The 12 step rooms are a microcosm of life. Look for the good and you will find it. I’m a believer in different paths and journeys, but I believe they all should include a daily program and a connection.
3 Likes
I’m not sober without the rooms of AA but different strokes for different folks. I wish everyone regardless if AA is for you or not great health and a meaningful life 
1 Like
I went like clockwork for my first couple of years sobriety. But I myself felt I could only grow as much as the room could allow. I go as needed now. Ive seen some treat the program like a cult messiah. And if thats what keeps them sober I support it. I myself use the skills and tools In learned in the rooms. To me its another tool in my sobriety tool box.
1 Like
Meeting makers make it
There are secular meetings with no Jesus talk!
Absolutely go. It’s a great way to find comradeire with people who have been through the same process and problems.
Too many people get confused about meetings in my opinion. Meetings don’t keep me sober. They allow me to work the 12 steps. My HP and working the 12 steps keeps me sober.
I still attend about a meeting a week minimum. It helps with accountability, socializing, identifying and giving back. Remember, we all have anxiety. The 12 steps help remove the anxiety 
1 Like
So I started attending meetings like 25 years ago. It took me over 15 years to get more than a couple of years together because that’s the type of alcoholic I am. Although I have taken my program to heart and put it at the center of my life, I got way sick of repeating the same old Aaa speak everywhere and I’m tired of hearing it. The reason I don’t go to meetings is because I’m tired of the environment. I go there with the expectation of recovery and I come out of their wondering why I went in there because I didn’t need the support; my compulsion to use has been lifted completely after decades of struggle, and I know that I am far too afraid of losing my life to go back to something that I know, does not serve me well, because I hated my drinking, and I hated myself when I was drinking. So I don’t go to AA meetings because the environment is not healthy for my program, which is a forward-looking program. That is one of Balanced spirituality that I cannot find in 12 step rooms. There was a time when these rooms meant life or death to me and that time is long in the past. I will be lucky to survive my disabilities for the next 10 years, and that’s where my program needs to focus because it is becoming too difficult for me to even do something like physically get to a meeting because of the pain and mobility problems that I have. So, instead of torturing myself going to a meeting that might cause me to have to use my program to push down resentments gained in that meeting I would rather go to any other social events that’s not for using substances and enjoy that social event, or just spend time on my own. My program is with God, because I no longer need other sick people around me to remind me how sick my alcoholism made me.
1 Like
I drank everyday so I do meetings daily almost 10 years sober
1 Like