What would normally tempt me, has become repulsive to me

Recovery
#1

I invited a friend over last night (they know I’m sober but don’t know that I actually classify as alcoholic) and they brought jack and coke for themselves. Now, I want to make it clear that I have no issue with being around liquor but that was historically my drink of choice once upon a time so the thought did cross my mind for about 2 seconds.

But the smell of it repulsed me. Something that used to be my medicine, disgusted me. They started to space out and become clumsy and I had secondhand embarrassment.

I guess I’m just really grateful that this wasn’t a trigger for me. And that I’m embarrassed I used to enjoy the smell and the taste and how my body would react to it. I’m grateful that I don’t crave the feeling to not wanting to be in my body and right mind.

I still struggle with the smell of wine. I’m sure I could drink a bottle right now if it was here. But baby steps. For now, the smell and thought of hard liquor is repulsive.

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#3

This is so amazing ! You definitely passed a hard test but then realized it just didn’t have the same power over you anymore ! Bravo !!

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#4

That’s cause your allergic!!!! :joy:

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#5

I’m just happy lisa that you know your worth and your are strong as all get out!

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#6

Yeah I look at all the bottles of liquor lined up behind the bar and I’m all ‘look at how nicely packaged all that poison is.’

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#7

“Secondhand embarrassment” I TOTALLY get this!!! I have had this a couple times in recent weeks while with friends and once on a date… didn’t have the words for it but that’s exactly what I felt. Very strange feeling… it was like I was sober and yet back with the exact situations (which used to be my own) which I thought I’d left behind over a year ago… like I got clean just to have the feelings come back vicariously. Weird. Didn’t anticipate how much drunk behavior would turn me off.

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#8

Same here! I went out to a concert last week and the smell of the booze made me feel a sense of revulsion. As the night wore on and people got sloppier, I began to feel a sense of second hand embarrassment too!
After two months booze free I can clearly see that I’m in a different mindset than them.

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