Honestly whats the point anymore? Ive tried for so many years to be sober and help my daughters but everything just gets so hard and then falls apart. Lost my job because over a strike, eviction, constantly having to deal with all these negative thoughts just to smile.
Ive never felt more useless than when im sober, ive never felt love when im sober, I’ve lost myself, i cant even be who i want to be because i get laughed at and called Ugly and forgettable, i give up! What’s the point, i know feeling sorry for myself wont help, i know seeing a therapist might help, i know my daughters love me to death and I them. I know all the great thinga that are going on and why i shouldnt be upset and crying. But being made to feel guilty for the things you do for that one person and try to fix things and then be told youve done anything and never have. I try so hard to find a reason why I shouldn’t! Everyday i try to find a reason and realistically im low on options. I just dont care, i have so much bottled up i could outsell Diet coke really. End rant