I've been sober for 565 days and you know I really feel zero sense of pride about it, I mean sure at the way I was going I should be thankful to be alive and I am, but I feel like every time I take a step forward I take two steps backwards. I still feel a sense of loneliness at times. My girlfriend tells me that I haven't changed and my father tells me to let her go because she has no compassion for me, and I don't want to leave her because I love my daughter and want to wake up to her everyday but I no longer see the love in my girlfriends eyes. All I see is despair as if she doesn't want to be with me . I'm tired of hearing my own voice talking to her I feel as if I'm pouring into a cup with a hole in the bottom she doesn't value or respect the man I've become, but I feel as if I would be so much better off without her. I meditate everyday write my agenda for the day read meditate, and really try everyday to be a better version of myself, but I feel like it's all pointless when I'm around her. She's incredibly immature when things don't go her way. And she doesn't value self work she rather come home and watch blue face and chrisean. I have really high standard for myself and I think I've been blind to it this whole time but I feel as if I may actually have bipolar disorder, go figure rite? I started drinking at a very young age and never built emotional intelligence I believe my drinking led me here and these are the after effects. Some moments I have momentum and feel like I can conquer the world, then some moments I feel worthless and undeserving. If you read up to this point thank you, I want you to know that you are not alone, and your not the only one who has to clean the mess that you've created from drinking, because I'm still a mess. Today was the first time in a long time I actually considered breaking my anxiety, and I really just needed someone to talk to because I genuinely feel alone like I have no one who truly understands me.
I'm curious about bi polar...your not sure if you have it? Me either...I don't want this to sound wrong...pride? In doing what we should be doing in the 1st place? Do any of us need a pat on the back for doing the right thing? Idk...addiction is a heck of a dragon and we cd all use sm compassion and understanding and encouragement 4sho! 
I have dark days where just a few words of encouragement give me great strength. I've been married to 2 different men and had horrible marriages both times. Neither started that way of course. My kids dad...well I put up w absolute h-e- double hockey sticks tryn to make it work for the sake of our family...hindsight that was not the way I wished to show my children how to live...all I really want for them in life is happiness. We can tell our kids anything but they watch what we do and learn from our actions...pattern themselves off of us. I was by no means perfect but I did my best with them. I feel that I did far better than my parents did with me and i wish the same for them with their children...do better. Do yr best and follow yr heart.
You got this writing this out is your first step
Dang, I can relate. I just got to 18 months yesterday and some times I feel like I have everything figured out and I’m flying through life with purpose and drive and then WHAM I wake up and I feel completely empty and lost again for a week or so. Every time I eventually kick the feeling with my routines working out, getting outdoors in nature or something or it just wears off on it’s own I’m not sure but I’m just thankful when I feel like myself again. It’s frustrating and I totally get the step forward, two steps back thing. But I do feel like it’s becoming two steps forward, one step back. Slowly but surely. Change takes time, we all know that and being patient is probably the hardest virtue for me 
anyways, sounds like you know what you want and you’re staying out of the love for your daughter. You’ve grown in your sobriety and your lady is just not on the same journey. I went through a similar thing. It’s a hard decision to make but you’ll make it when you’re ready. And don’t be too hard on yourself. Life isn’t meant to be easy. Not when we’re walking a path that’s forging us into gold. You’re doing great 
I think we all have mental health issues and have all used in the past as a way of self meditating. I know you feel numb rn but please don’t diminish what you’ve accomplished. I’m sorry you are in a bad spot with ur girl. It’s always good to check on your mental health but the problems you are facing aren’t all caused by you. Remember it takes two people to be in a relationship so don’t carry all the weight of it on your shoulders. Good luck and reach out anytime
Are you going to AA meetings or?
The point is to learn how to lead a happy and productive life. You’re doing a great job of staying abstinent. Congrats on your 565 plus days!! For most of us, the addiction was just a symptom of a deeper emotional problem. If we don’t work on healing and maintaining our emotional and spiritual state, we often grow irritable, restless, and discontent over time. This then leads us to wanted by to “escape” once again. Have you gotten involved in any recovery programs? If not, I suggest you get connected to one before it’s too late. If you have, maybe you need to get more active or switch it up. Please take care of yourself before things get worse. You deserve to find some peace and happiness
one thing that’s sorta helped me stay centered and appreciative is the fact that…life is still hard, but i’m not making it any harder by using
we deserve a sober life and our kids deserve a sober parent🌟
hang in there my friend, one day at a time 
Two things: Have you had both a medical and psych evaluation since 565 days ago? I suggest that you do. It helped me a lot! Secondly, are you going to a 12 Step group? I found that when I put down the substances there were several issues about my personality and spirituality which need to be addressed. What you're describing is very common among people who quit drinking or using drugs. That's what the 12 Steps were designed for. When I stopped there was a huge void. I am currently working the 12 Steps of Narcotics Anonymous to address the "emptiness." I hope that helps. Thank-you.
No I've never attended one
Dude you have over 560 days.
You’ve earned it.
Like you I started at a young age and didn't grow emotionally, socially etc...Years ago I did a 5 yr dry drunk, just didn't drink. I was almost as miserable during that period as when I was drinking...This time around tho I'm almost 2yrs sober and going to meetings. It's helping me grow in almost every way, self esteem, confidence, the whole 9 yards...I really think you should give it a shot!
Sounds like you are “dry,” which is a great first step. Not picking up a drink or drug for 565+ days is a huge accomplishment. Sounds to me like you want to feel more connected to others and have a sense of purpose. Highly recommend you try a recovery program. Being around like minded people. Sharing your story. Being of service. These types of things will enhance your sobriety in ways you never dreamed possible. Also, it sounds like you trying to live a better life and be a better version of yourself. It sucks, but sometimes we outgrow our significant others. Doesn’t make us better, it just means one person in the relationship is changing and the other, maybe not so much. And that’s ok. You continue taking care of yourself, your sobriety, your child, and things will fall into place. Drinking and/or using just makes situations worse, never better.
I learned that when I was drinking there are lots of things about myself and also other people that I never noticed because I was messed up. It’s like getting to know who you, and others, really are.
And I decided it is ok to be a different me and reevaluate all kinds of things.
I feel like you are answering your own questions with this post, and you know what you need to do with your girl friend! It sounds like she’s not being supportive and she’s only holding back your recovery. In getting sober, we also change tremendously emotionally. You just might be changing and she is not, therefore your differences are becoming more apparent. I would try to separate yourself from her at least temporarily and see if this changes your mindset.