Hey all! Curious to get your input on how long it took you (if yet) for it to feel normal to go to restaurants, concerts, ball games, etc. and not drink.
I’m not having major cravings or anything, thankfully. But it almost feels… awkward? to go to any restaurant and not have drinks.
How long did it take you for it to feel normal again to go and do things without drinking?
It was about 6 months for me, but I always made sure to have an escape route, sober buddy to call, and make sure the people you are with know if you feel uncomfortable you are going to leave. It gets easier as time goes on. Take it slow but at the same time just watch for your triggers and listen to your gut.
I don’t feel like I can really give you an answer (because I’m newly sober and also everyone is different) but I’ve been journaling about the “awkwardness” I feel while being the only one not drinking/going to a bar and only ordering club soda and it’s helped me process. For me it feels like just a state of mind. Not saying it isn’t real for you, but for me it kinda feels like I can change my mind on the awkwardness if that makes sense.
Hey Jeremy!! That’s a frequent and interesting question. For me, I don’t think it ever felt “normal” before I started drinking/drugging. I started getting drunk and high by the age of 13. I never went to a concert, bar, restaurant, ball games etc without being under the influence of something. So there’s no returning to normal for me. I need to finally learn for the first time how to do all these things sober. I lived many years in “sodriety”. I was dry but not sober. I was abstinent for many years, but not very happy about it. Today I’m learning all over again how to enjoy life without substances. One thing that has helped me tremendously this time around is I’m not all alone. This time I’m working a program of sobriety. I go to meetings. I made sober friends! Life is so much better when you have a sober support group.
Hey Jen! You’re doing great! It’s a process for sure. Hope you can find a few sober sisters to hang out with. It really does make you feel like you’re not alone. Either way, keep pushing.
Thanks! I have supportive friends but I don’t really have a lot of friends that are sober. Definitely on the market for some tho haha!
We have 5 years clean and sober. When I'm with my family and they have a drink, I think about it for a couple of seconds and then I remember how nice it is to be present and NOT loaded.
It feels normal after you find your new normal
I think it depends, I got sober just before pandemic started so I had a lot of time in “isolation.” Good luck!!!
Oo yes to journaling! So helpful with processing everything. Good tip!
It’s totally dependent on the situation, but 3-6 months is where the ‘feeling normal’ started to set in more for me. Keep at it!
We are all different, but after 3+ years I’ve set different expectations. I don’t think I’ll ever be ‘normal’ again. For me it’s easier once I’ve accepted it but I used for 30 years, best for me to keep it realistic.
Right on, that’s about what I expected. Definitely keeping at it and sticking with it. Thank you for the support!
Great point. I used for 18 years. Got ‘sober’ for a month, fell back into thinking I was ‘fine’, and then decided none of it was worth it. Wasn’t even fun anymore. Maybe it’s just about creating a new normal for us. Appreciate the words my friend.
Solid point here. The thing I’ve really been harping on for myself is ‘the lie’. None of us quit because we were having fun. We quit because we felt/were miserable. That’s the thing I am echoing to myself every time the thought arrives - ‘“You weren’t having fun, you were just too fucked up to know how much fun you weren’t having.”
Absolutely, love this. Building a sober network is a big focus for me right now. All of my friends are super respectful of my decision and even go out of their way to not drink in front of me (which is amazing). But, it’s great to have friends who truly understand your struggle because you’ve both been there. It’s therapeutic to talk with them about the journey. Thanks for sharing 
Ahh, I think that I understand better now. In my opinion, you're feeling "the obsession." It WILL lift eventually; it does for everyone in recovery, as long as we stay "stopped." I don't know of anything which will speed that process up. For me, I went to 90 meetings in 90 days and talked about how I felt. Are you working a program, may I ask?
Sure am, but just started last week so it is very fresh. I imagine that the more work I put in the more I’ll rewards I’ll reap (as is all things in life).
Heard an awesome quote today that perked me up and sent me right to the gym: “Discipline weighs ounces. Regrets weigh tons.”
So, discipline and hard work it will be.
Man that’s a great quote lol Love it
LOL Normal is a setting on a dryer. I went to a Stones concert to celebrate the completion of my 90/90. The compulsion to drink or drug was lifted from me the minute I did an honest 1st step which is to admit that I can no longer drink or drug for the rest of my life. From that day forward I no longer feared living life. Now that doesn’t mean I hang out in crack houses or regularly close the bar sipping seltzer. I’m also not a big fan of hanging with people that are intoxicated unless I’m the designated driver 